"I know what you're thinking: 'John, this is a stupid idea.' But is it? Is it, really? Yes, obviously, it is. But is it significantly stupider than Donald Trump's wall? Because this waffle iron plan will cost less, it'll do nearly as much to keep out immigrants and drugs, it won't harm our relationship with our third-largest trading partner, if it is racist it's only toward Belgians, and, unlike Donald Trump's wall, this makes f&*king waffles."