WATCH: Colbert Brings Jon Stewart Out of Retirement to Tell Him Who the GOP Nominee Is

The nominee is 'the same guy who said 'I have black guys counting my money, I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys who wear yarmulkes all day.'

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Haaretz
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Only Jon Stewart Can Make Sense of the Trump CandidacyCredit: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
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Haaretz

Short transcript:

Stephen: No, I know you and your beard are very busy these days, but i'm here to tell you it's the Republican national convention this week.

Stewart: No, I think they had one of those four years ago!

Stephen: They're doing another one. You won't believe the nominee.

Stewart: Jeb Bush will be a great nominee.

Stephen: Jon, it's not jeb. I'm going to tell you who the candidate is.

Stewart: Before you tell me, I'm a little parched, if I may.

Stephen: want to take a little --

Stewart: Just enough to wet the whistle before you tell me the nominee. So, before you say the name, if you don't mind, I wouldn't mind bringing liquid.

Stephen: because you don't know. Ready?

Stewart: Yeah.

Stephen: It's Donald Trump.

Stephen: Yep!

Stewart : The guy from the Eighties?

Stephen: Yep.

Stewart: The guy who did the McDonald's commercial?

Stephen: Same guy.

Stewart: The guy who filed bankruptcy in 1991.

Stephen: And '92.

Stewart: And 2004.

Stephen: And 2009.

Stewart: That guy, Mike Tyson's business advisor, that guy?

Stephen: Indeed, the same guy.

Stewart: The guy whose eyes look like tiny versions of his mouth.

Stephen: Decomposing jack-o'-lantern.

Stewart: The guy who looks like here's wearing a Donald Trump costume.

Stephen: yes, a loose fitting one.

Stewart: That's guy who wrote "Oftentimes when I was

sleeping with one of the top women in the world, I would say

to myself, can you believe what I am getting?"

Stephen: Yes, the same guy who said "I have black guys counting my money, I hate it.The only guys I want counting my money are short guys who wear yamakas all day."

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