Stephen: No, I know you and your beard are very busy these days, but i'm here to tell you it's the Republican national convention this week.
Stewart: No, I think they had one of those four years ago!
Stephen: They're doing another one. You won't believe the nominee.
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Stewart: Jeb Bush will be a great nominee.
Stephen: Jon, it's not jeb. I'm going to tell you who the candidate is.
Stewart: Before you tell me, I'm a little parched, if I may.
Stephen: want to take a little --
Stewart: Just enough to wet the whistle before you tell me the nominee. So, before you say the name, if you don't mind, I wouldn't mind bringing liquid.
Stephen: because you don't know. Ready?
Stephen: It's Donald Trump.
Stewart : The guy from the Eighties?
Stewart: The guy who did the McDonald's commercial?
Stephen: Same guy.
Stewart: The guy who filed bankruptcy in 1991.
Stephen: And '92.
Stewart: And 2004.
Stephen: And 2009.
Stewart: That guy, Mike Tyson's business advisor, that guy?
Stephen: Indeed, the same guy.
Stewart: The guy whose eyes look like tiny versions of his mouth.
Stephen: Decomposing jack-o'-lantern.
Stewart: The guy who looks like here's wearing a Donald Trump costume.
Stephen: yes, a loose fitting one.
Stewart: That's guy who wrote "Oftentimes when I was
sleeping with one of the top women in the world, I would say
to myself, can you believe what I am getting?"
Stephen: Yes, the same guy who said "I have black guys counting my money, I hate it.The only guys I want counting my money are short guys who wear yamakas all day."