Where Is Sarale, Where Is Yankele

There is only one government creature worse that a political minister, and that is the apolitical minister, and the justice minister, Yaakov Neeman, is definitely one of those.

Who does he remind me of? Maybe Cardinal Richelieu's shadow adviser, a Capucine monk whose name has been forgotten but whose description is remembered thanks to the color of his robe: The justice minister is the eminence grise of this government.

There is only one government creature worse that a political minister, and that is the apolitical minister, and the justice minister is most definitely one of those. Yaakov Neeman is a natural disaster who leaves scorched and eroded earth behind him; generations to come will weep over his destructive tenure. If former Supreme Court President Aharon Barak led the "constitutional revolution" in his day, Neeman is now leading the anti-constitutional revolution, uprooting mountains and grinding politicians and judges against each another.

Justice Minister Yaakov Neemean, left, and his predescessor Daniel Friedmann - Tomer Appelbaum
Tomer Appelbaum

All the ministers have already expressed their opinions of the garbage law - whether for or against. Only Neeman is as quiet as an eel, as a snake-like fish, because deviousness is a fence for cunning.

His predecessor, Daniel Friedmann, another "professional minister," also harbored foreign ideas. But he at least revealed his secrets. Friedmann was a shor tam - an ox with no violent history. That's why we only paid half-damages for his gorings. Whereas Neeman is a shor muad - a damage-prone ox. His owner should have kept an eye on him - that's why we will pay full damages. Friedmann hung his laundry on a clothesline, whereas Neeman wove his web like a spider in the cellars, pulling the strings of MKs Zeev Elkin and Yariv Levin.

From time to time, when the politicians become corrupt and we tire of them, a desperate cry is heard demanding a government of experts: The health minister will be a senior physician, and the justice minister an outstanding legal scholar, as long as they are expert and experienced, and not awash in political lust and conspiracy. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman have granted your wishes: No ordinary lawyer was appointed justice minister, but rather a first-class lawyer who was taken from the world of the tycoons. It's not by chance that democratic countries prefer governments of elected officials to governments of experts, who have no fear of the public and of those to whom they will have to answer.

Neeman was placed in the government as a minister as a protege of Yisrael Beiteinu. Lieberman decided to cut back on justice, searched and found his counterpart. A moment before his hearing and prior to his indictment, the two masters and their servant are holding tightly onto the central pillars of the Supreme Court and saying: Let us die with the justices.

The mission of the professional minister is like that of a delivery boy. After all, he has nothing of his own except his personal loyalty - here, I am at your service. And that loyalty is owed first and foremost to his direct employer who hired his services - he appoints and fires at will. Netanyahu knows that he has someone to rely on at tough moments, when even his close associates begin to act up. Whatever he pollutes, his justice minister will come and quietly clean up after him. After all, that is the usual relationship, the unwritten agreement, between the capo di tutti capi and his loyal consiglieri. And not everything has to be discussed openly - the servant knows the soul of his master via subtle hints.

"Yankele, where's Yankele [Yaakov Neeman]," said Benjamin ("Where is Sarale?" ) Netanyahu at the faction meeting, in an attempt to extricate himself from the situation. At the sound of his call, we pictured first Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion desperately calling "Dubi, where's Dubi," when he wanted Justice Minister Dov Yosef; "Pini, where's Pini," when Justice Minister Pinhas Rosen suddenly disappeared.

The founders of the country traveled a long road until they turned into the last diadochi. The Likud has traveled a rocky and sinful road from the days when the judges judged in Jerusalem up until "How has the faithful city become a harlot! She that was full of justice, righteousness lodged in her, but now ..."

But now, what?