Stewart's Back, Mad and With a Plan to Beat 'Purposeful, Vindictive Chaos' of Donald Trump

'I, Donald J. Trump, have instructed my staff to speak only in bulls--t. Bulls--t all the time. Immersion, it's the only way to be fluent,' the former 'Daily Show' host reads out some new Trump executive orders.

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Jon Stewart Reads Trump's Next Batch Of Executive Orders
Jon Stewart reads Trump's next batch of executive orders on 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.' January 31, 2017.Credit: Screen grab

Satirist Jon Stewart joined his former Comedy Central colleague Stephen Colbert in a comedic jab at the new Washington administration – which turned into a sober call to resist Donald Trump.

Stewart, former host of the 'Daily Show,' showed up on the latest episode of 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' wearing an animal pelt on his head and Trump's trademark red tie.

What began as a comedic appearance, with Stewart reading off some fake new executive orders, lampooning the roughly 20 that Trump has issued in his first week and a half in office, ended with the comedian addressing the audience directly in a somber call for action and resistance against Trump.

Credit: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Trump's "new executive orders" included that "China will immediately send us their wall" and "I, Donald J. Trump, have instructed my staff to speak only in bulls--t. Bulls--t all the time. Immersion, it's the only way to be fluent."

The skit culminated in a lengthy monologue by Stewart in which he eviscerated Trump: "I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting. It has been 11 days, Stephen. 11 [expletive] days. Eleven. The presidency is supposed to age the president, not the public.

"The reason that I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting is that every instinct and fiber of my pathological self-regard calls me to abusive power. I want — no, deserve — not just your respect but your adoration. Parades with the tanks and the synchronized dancing, and why can’t they train 10,000 doves to spell out 'Trump' in the clouds? How hard can it be? They’re already flying.

I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting because it is going to take relentless stamina, vigilance and every institutional check and balance this great country can muster to keep me, Donald J. Trump, from going full Palpatine, with the lightning coming out of the fingertips and 'fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate.'

"We have never faced this before. Purposeful, vindictive chaos. But perhaps therein lies the saving grace of my, Donald J. Trump’s, presidency."

As the comedy bit wound down, Stewart concluded with this rousing call to action:

"No one action will be adequate, all action will be necessary, and if we do not allow Donald Trump to exhaust our fight and somehow come out of this presidency calamity-less and constitutionally, partially intact, then I, Donald J. Trump, will have demonstrated the greatness of America, just not the way I thought I was going to."

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