When news emerged that Hosni Mubarak was to be released from prison, I joked that Egypt was actually in the throes of a grand plot to punish the Egyptian people for having dared to topple their dictator. Part of this 'conspiracy' was the planting of provocateurs –Mohammed Hussein Tantawi, Mohammed Morsi and Abdel-Fattah al-Sisi – to lead the country off a cliff.
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Of course, I was sarcastically expressing my frustration at the incomprehensible magnitude of the incompetence displayed by Egypt's leaders, the shattering - one shard at a time - of the Egyptian people's dreams of revolution, as well as mocking the improbable conspiracy theories that have been floating around.
One of the most outlandish was the assertion by Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, perhaps trying to fill a little of the void left by former Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, that Israel was behind the ouster of Mohammed Morsi.
His evidence? A Jewish-French intellectual, unnamed by Erdogan, who said, in 2011, that the Muslim Brotherhood would not take power, even if elected, because democracy is not the ballot box. The intellectual in question, an aide later revealed to AP, was none other than Bernard-Henri Levy.
Unfortunately, Erdogan did not elaborate on how BHL, as he is often called in France, came to work for the Israelis. Nor did he explain how Levy managed to brainwash millions of Egyptians into coming out to the streets to demand Morsi's departure, providing the army with the necessary cover and support to mount its coup, or what inside track the French philosopher enjoys with General Abdel-Fattah al-Sisi.
Although this conspiracy theory may actually appeal to Levy's overinflated sense of himself – whose shallow philosophy has been described as God is dead but my hair is perfect – he is not a one-man intelligence agency. In fact, he is little more than the French equivalent of the liberator of Kabul John Simpson and gut feeling, cab driver told me, world-shaper Thomas Friedman.
In fact, anyone who actually watches the YouTube video can see that Levy is taking part in a panel discussion and is expressing his view that even if the Brotherhood won at the ballot box, he would not personally regard this as democratic. Democracy is not only elections, it is values, he asserted.
But, sadly, Erdogan is not alone in spreading absurd rumours of this kind. In Egypt itself, there are some people in most camps who allege that Israel, usually in collaboration with the United States, is the master puppeteer behind the crisis there. For instance, one poster at the Rabaa protest shows U.S. President Barack Obama dressed as pharaoh leading al-Sisi like a dog wearing a Star of David collar, while another - which has stirred controversy in Egypt - shows a Star of David stamped on the neck of a soldier. On the other side of the political spectrum, a caricature that appeared in a leading newspaper shows pro-Morsi protesters asking how to say "Occupy Egypt and save us" - in Hebrew.
This attitude strikes me as being particularly pronounced and most vitriolic in the pro-Morsi camp. America and the Zionists were against Morsi. But they will fail in their project, said one protester at the Raba'a al-Adawiya sit-in, which I visited days before it was violently dispersed.
One outspoken young man who pushed through the crowd to speak to me claimed shockingly, outrageously and preposterously: Hitler killed the Jews for his people. Al-Sisi is killing his people for the Jews.
On the other side of the political spectrum, there are those in the pro-military camp who believe that Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood are agents of the United States and Israel.
It may be news for many Israelis to learn that, while still in power, Morsi, who is most famous in Israel for describing Jews as descendants of apes and pigs, was described as a Zionist by one prominent anti-Brotherhood, secular cleric.
Riding the wave of suspicion toward the United States and Israel, the youth-led Tamarud movement, which helped spearhead the opposition against Morsi with a petition signed by millions calling for his departure, has launched a new petition campaign demanding the cessation of U.S. aid and the cancellation of the Camp David accords, which would enable Egypt to fix its broken sovereignty.
Many Israelis and Jews will see this as yet another sign of Egypt's and the Arab world's irredeemable anti-Semitism. Although racism and prejudice, bred partly by generations of conflict, are certainly a factor, the reality is far more complex and nuanced.
Like Syria before it, Egypt has become a proxy political battleground for numerous regional and international players, with the biggest hitters being the United States, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, the UAE and Turkey. And the fog of conflict ensures that along with real-world conspiracies, outlandish conspiracy theories also float around.
However, compared with these other players active backing of one side or the other, and even both, Israel's role has been a passive, backseat one. If that is the case, why is Israel included among the top league of foreign meddlers, movers and shakers in Egypt?
Part of the reason is the perception that Israel is Washington's loyal regional lapdog – or more outlandishly the tail that wags the dog – and as anti-American sentiment grows, Israel suffers by association.
In addition, there is the long history of actual plots in which Israel was involved – from the Lavon Affair and the Suez war to Netanyahu's shuttle diplomacy to defend Mubarak – that gives fantastical conspiracy theories a superficial sheen of credibility.
Another factor is the emotive weight of utilizing a decades-old enemy as a powerful weapon for discrediting political adversaries, which has been a long tradition in the Arab world – though more and more Egyptians are becoming sceptical of them.
However, the danger of this is that it distorts the reality of the situation. In fact, what's happening in Egypt, in my view, is more a "clash within civilisations" than between them. This is illustrated in the United States' overriding interest in stability to protect its interests, and that is why Washington backs the army right or wrong, because it incorrectly sees the military as Egypt's only guarantor of stability.
The mutual dehumanization and demonization that has been going on for generations has sadly made Arabs and Israelis all too willing to believe the most implausible, inhumane theories about each other. This is reflected in how a significant number of Arabs have adopted the ancient Christian idea of the Jewish "blood libel" and how a large number of Israelis have reversed that blood libel and utilised it against the Palestinians, as demonstrated in the recent al-Dura affair.
But there is a danger to this. By attributing your enemies a subhuman character and superhuman powers, you propel them out of the real world and into the realm of otherworldliness, leading to the untrue conviction that you are powerless to transform foe into friend and war into peace. But at a time when populism is more important than wisdom, the suggestion that people can unite against a common enemy – the "friend" of their rivals - is just too tempting an opportunity to miss.
Khaled Diab is an Egyptian-Belgian journalist, blogger and writer who has spent about half his life in the Middle East, including nearly two years in Jerusalem, and the other half in Europe. Follow him at @DiabolicalIdea