If a political pundit from Mars were to find himself in the country of the Jews by mistake, he would probably ask his enthusiastic hosts – what’s the secret of this Netanyahu’s strength? How is it that this faded hair-dyer, who knows only how to speak nicely to the camera, and who doesn’t really have any clear support among your people (30 Knesset seats is only a quarter of the electorate) is repeatedly elected, in every free and democratic election campaign, to be Israel’s prime minister?!
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And the answer, the alien pundit will probably be forced to conclude, is that the secret lies not with Netanyahu’s foolish disciples, as his opponents claim with rational fury, but actually with them, his many opponents, and only them. Yes, yes, the strange creature will insist, Netanyahu’s opponents are the ones who are perpetuating his rule.
What kind of nonsense are you talking?! his annoyed and angry listeners will say, you don’t understand anything, where have you come from? Anti-Semite! Astronaut!
And then the alien from Mars will blush in embarrassment, and will nevertheless respond as follows:
All those among you who oppose Netanyahu aren’t opposed to some program of his - be it diplomatic, economic, stratospheric or orthoscopic – because they, just like he, have no program in any sphere. And not only are they not opposed to any act of his government, they even support every step he takes – every military operation, confiscation, theft, robbery, harassment and oppression of the weak, the unfortunate, the disabled, the poor and the refugees. They oppose him, and then limply, only when it comes to petty, insignificant matters, claiming that they would replace the corporation with an authority, or the authority with a corporation; they don’t quite remember.
And if they come to power, they promise, or threaten, to continue to do everything Netanyahu is doing, only with more determination, flexibility, sensitivity, practicality and so on.
The opposition to Netanyahu is concentrated solely against his personality and that of his wife. And they don’t stop shouting and whining about that.
And besides, to form a government you need 61 MKs, right? And let’s say that on their best day Netanyahu’s opponents, the elitist princes Yair Lapid and Isaac Herzog, together with their ethnic Ashkenazi satellite party Meretz, will bring 40 seats – from where will they bring another 21? Those can come only from three places: the Mizrahi, Haredi and Arab parties. They are no other possibilities, those are the only ones.
So what are they doing to transfer those seats to their side? Everything possible to undermine those parties and their electorates – to insult and humiliate them, show racism against them, exclude and reject them. Is that how they’re planning to win? said the alien pundit sadly.
What, for example, do they have against Shas? After all, Shas supported the peace treaty of their sacred Rabin, so why have they been shouting since then “Anything but Shas, anything but Shas?” And the Arabs, after all the years that they’ve been pissing on them and killing them, at the the moment of truth they supported the Rabin government in the vote on the Oslo Accords. So why do they continue to piss on them and kill them and reject them?
And the Haredim, after all, the only thing the ultra-Orthodox parties want is money for yeshivas and an exemption from the draft. So why are Netanyahu’s opponents more opposed to that than he is? After all, without those parties Netanyahu’s opponents will never be able to form a government. So why don’t they do what they should, in other words just the opposite: offer to exempt all the Haredim from the draft by law? Because then the number of Haredim who enlist will increase, and more Haredim will enter the job market, and their parties will join their government that will kick out Netanyahu and save the country, as they claim.
So why are they doing exactly the opposite? Why are they rejecting and chasing away anyone who could, perhaps, bring them to power? What are they, stupid or crazy?
We parted as friends, and the pundit returned to Mars, leaving us with Netanyahu and his opponents, in other words, with Netanyahu and his group of flatterers, and wished us all a happy Festival of Freedom, of course.