Who the hell is this omnipotent left, which terrifies the prime minister so much? Who is this mysterious, immensely powerful, evil, octopus-like cult with a hand in everything and a rule that spans the globe? Who are the members of this shadowy organization that controls the police, dictates the actions of the prosecution, orchestrates the media, subdues the attorney general, tames the judges and has the whole world dancing to its tune?
There’s no doubt about it, this must be a devious syndicate no less powerful than international Jewry. That satanic society that almost destroyed Germany, tool over international capital, harnessed the media to its needs and plotted to pollute the entire Aryan race (especially the girls).
They say that there’s a thick book in the Prime Minister’s Office full of the protocols of the elders of “the left.” But despite all of the above, no one knows who they are. There are no names, no lairs, no pictures, no leader(s) ... nothing! A mystery even, hidden.
Opposite that elusive left, as we know, is “the right.” How amazing: It’s not hard to know who and what “the right” is. Below is a brief, random list – in no particular order and not very hard to put together, shooting from the hip – of “the right.”
Bibi, Sara, Smotrich, Eli Sadan, Ayelet Shaked, Naftali Bennett, Yariv Levin, Oren Hazan, Miki Zohar, Yoav Kish, Dov Lior, Baruch Goldstein, Yvet Lieberman, David Bitan, David Amsalem, Miri Regev, Yoav Galant, Moti Yogev, Arye Dery, Faina Kirschenbaum, Meir Ettinger, Yosef Elitzur and Yitzhak Shapira, Amir Ohana, Gilad Erdan, Anat Berko, Uri Ariel, Ami Popper, Ayoub Kara, Yinon Magal, Uzi Sharabaf, the Kahalani brothers, Nissan Slomiansky, Sharon Gal, Michael Oren, Robert Ilatov, Zeev Elkin, Ofir Akunis, Nava Boker, Haim Katz and Yisrael Katz. Shuli Moalem-Refaeli, Menahem Livni, Yigal Amir, Yona Avrushmi, Yaakov Yosef, Viktor Orban, Vladimir Putin, Rodrigo Duterte, Donald Trump, Jair Bolsonaro, Avi Dichter, Tzachi Hanegbi, Tzipi Hotovely, Steve Bannon (the most partial of partial lists).
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They’re all the right. Proud, open, declared, public. And anyone who sees – whether they want to or not – is rattled to the bone. Some are ludicrous, some are terrifying. Some are nauseating. Some are pitiful. Some are big-mouthed and small-minded, hard-hearted and blunt-brained, convicted terrorists, convicted murderers, suspects, under interrogation, indicted, stupid, evil, anti-Semitic, racist ...
And after all that, “left” is a curse word?
Even without an electronic microscope you won’t find among those called “left” a single political assassin. A single terrorist. A single rapist. A single convict. Hardly anybody corrupt. There was one once – he committed suicide from shame. Another one committed suicide he was so insulted. A third one, whose wife had a bank account abroad, ran right home ... but “left” is used to terrify children and voters.
And nobody knows who they are.
According to huge billboards, “the left” is entirely made up of four nice folks with a keyboard and a microphone. But it may be safely assumed that by Election Day Bibi will uncover at least two or three more subversive people from “the left.” Lest he feel too ridiculous when he stands up, at the very last minute, before the cameras and announces: “The leftists are streaming to the polling stations. They are coming in taxis rented for them by George Soros and the New Israel Fund. Hurry brethren, hurry.”
And Israel will once again be saved at the 11th hour.