For Israelis, Lots of Lessons in Remote Learning

B. Michael
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Netanyahu in Jerusalem, August 2020.
B. Michael

Remote learning has been very fashionable of late, and the events of recent days have in fact provided more and more people with an opportunity to expand their knowledge through remote learning.

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The first to learn something were Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife Sara. They received a brief lesson in the course called “What it’s like to be a leftist in Israel.” In other words, how do those who are a constant, daily target for every nutcase, pervert, bully and sleaze with a keyboard get through the day. Regrettably, the chances for the Netanyahus to really learn what it’s like to be a leftist in Israel were very slim in the first place. Because there’s an abundance of right-wing nutcases, but it’s very hard to find psycho keyboard bullies on the left.

And so, even their feverish search throughout the social media to prove their longed-for suffering and persecution yielded only an unimpressive pinch of moldy trash. An average leftist receives 10 times as much garbage every week.

To illustrate, following are several citations, only in a nutshell, from among hundreds of posts that were sent and are being sent to my wife, due to her political activity (without any connection to the leftist who is married to her):

“If I see you I’ll run you over and come back in reverse.” “Left-wing women were born only to be f---ked.” “Ya, daughter of a slut, amen, may Bedouin rape you.” “I personally am willing to pay the price and to harm Jewish leftists physically.” “Your mother is a dead whore, you cunt, your mother is a whore of Arabs may an Arab rape you and tear your face and your body and burn you ...”

And there was also one polite abuser: “Ahalan,” he wrote, “I wish you cancer of the heart. Have a good week.”

The second group that receives a dose of “remote learning” is Likud voters. They have learned at first hand what it’s like to be a Kahol Lavan voter. In other words, what it’s like to vote for a leader who promises, hand on heart, to do one thing and to get a leader who, hand on heart, does the exact opposite.

They, for a change, internalized the lesson quickly. The “base” didn’t even notice the change, and returned to cheer its leader as usual.

The third group is the various Hardalim, or national-religious Haredim. They are learning (once again …) what Netanyahu’s word is worth. But they apparently will also be forced to learn how to deal with the possibility that one more hand has joined the many hands that are already have Bibi in their painful grip: the strong hand of Prince Mohammed bin Zayed. That is likely to be quite a painful lesson for them in modesty, postponing gratification, making do with little, and who knows – maybe even an enlightening lesson in sanity.

And even the crown prince himself will learn something from a distance. It will be a very demanding course: lessons in deception, misleading, double talk, promising something and its opposite, bribery, fraud and lots and lots of of breach of faith. In short, an in-depth lesson in all the basic branches of Bibi-ology.

And the rest of Israel’s population? They will learn remotely that our new and exciting friend is an anti-democratic tyrant, hostile to human rights, with total control of the media in his country, one who considers Islamic law a worthy legal system, a billionaire with two private planes and a yacht. A good friend of Russian President Vladimir Putin and U.S. President Donald Trump, and a wonderful customer for the variety of death toys and electronic accessories to tyranny of our glorious industry. In short, everything we love.

Once upon a time, I recall, we were proud of our oranges and our drip irrigation.

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