The Academy Awards' 90th birthday was a surprisingly candid affair on Sunday night. Host Jimmy Kimmel's opening monologue set the tone with basically a 10-minute shout-out to the #MeToo movement and a call for change in Hollywood.
"Oscar is 90 years old - which means he's probably at home right now watching Fox News," Kimmel began. He then cited "Oscar" as the most respected man in Hollywood: "He keeps his hands where you can see them ... and, most importantly, he doesn't have a penis."
"Here's how clueless Hollywood is about women," Kimmel continued. "We made a movie called 'What Women Want' - and it starred Mel Gibson."
Even the film that won best picture, "The Shape of Water," was co-opted into the naming and shaming: Kimmel called 2017 "the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish."
Kimmel also made the name "Carmine Caridi" a hot search on Google when he revealed that the character actor was the only person to be expelled from the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences before Harvey Weinstein was booted last year for his string of alleged sexual offenses.
Caridi's offense was to share "screeners" of movies sent to Academy members (allowing them to watch nominated movies at home). "Carmine Caridi got the same punishment as Harvey Weinstein for giving his neighbor a copy of 'Seabiscuit' on VHS!" noted Kimmel.
President Donald Trump received a brief burn (Kimmel said the president thought the first three-quarters of the racial comedy-horror movie "Get Out" was the best film of the year). But Kimmel's best line was arguably about Trump's notoriously straitlaced vice president. Referring to a gay coming-of-age drama, Kimmel said, "We don't make films like 'Call Me By Your Name' to make money - we make them to upset Mike Pence."
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By the way, if you've watched the video and are wondering who won the jet ski for the shortest acceptance speech, it was "Phantom Thread" costume designer Mark Bridges.
Gal Gadot also got an extended spell in the spotlight during a rather surreal interlude in which the Oscars literally decided to thank moviegoers for their continued support of films - by taking a host of stars, led by Wonder Woman herself, into an adjacent cinema to hand out candies and hot dogs to the crowd watching "A Wrinkle in Time." As they entered the cinema auditorium (which Kimmel said had a strong odor of marijuana) Gadot exclaimed, "This is so much better than the Oscars!"
The show had kicked off with a 1930s-esque newsreel spoofing the 90th Oscars. The surprisingly bitchy intro included such zingers as "Armie Hammer was born when a witch put a curse on a Ken doll."