WATCH: Louis C.K. Lets Loose on Israel and Palestine on 'SNL'

'My kids are like Israel and Palestine and I'm like America. The little one's like Palestine because she always gets screwed, she gets the worst deal.'

AP

Short transcript:

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"My kids are like Israel and Palestine and I'm like America. The little one's like Palestine because she always gets screwed, she gets the worst deal. She's like, 'She threw a rock at my face' and I'm like, 'You're fine. You have a great life, you have to take a rock to the face once in a while, you're fine.' The older one is like Israel, she comes up to me like, 'She burnt all my dolls!' I'm like, 'Look, I can't do anything about it right now. Your sister is crazy, please don't make me talk to her. I'll work it out, you and me. I'll buy you a really cool missile and whatever you do with it is totally up to you."