Your Guide to Tel Aviv Bathrooms: From Top Notch to ‘Does the Job’

Sure, the food is great, but what about the toilets? Haaretz recommends where to visit, where to avoid and where the restroom is an experience in itself

The bathrooms at Chateau Shual in Tel Aviv.
City Mouse

Eurovision performances, White Night parties and a host of events for the thousands visiting from around the country and all over the world, but nobody is focusing on the most vital thing: Where the hell do you pee between the drag show and the rave that goes until morning? In honor of the most excessive week in the streets of Tel Aviv, we went to scope out the best restrooms – where it’s the cleanest, which have the best design, and which ones look like a gas station but are always open. Here are 14 restrooms for the tourist who’s gotta go.

Mozner
51 Ahad Ha’am Street (map)

Mozner's bathroom. The lighting is just dim enough so you won’t see what a mess you are.
City Mouse

This neighborhood bar is one of the only places in town that offers polite service along with good music, with a different DJ every night. The professionalism of the staff is also true of the restrooms. In Mozner you will be able to evacuate comfortably: The two bathrooms are spacious, clean, and beautifully designed – shiny black ceramic tiles and fully closing doors. Just be careful of the entry door that swings open, Wild West-style. The lighting is just dim enough so you won’t see what a mess you are, and there’s always toilet paper and soap. Incidentally, if you’re nice, the staff will let you use the bathroom without ordering anything.

Courteousness: Smiles all around, they’re rolling with it
A snack along the way: Schnitzel and French fries – the genius of simplicity
Cleanliness: Clean enough to pick up and eat a French fry that fell from your shirt
Overall grade: 9

Silon
89 King George Street (map)

The bathrooms in Silon. Peruse the posters and find out about the latest exhibitions and parties in the city.
City Mouse

One of Tel Aviv’s legendary bars. There’s a rock ‘n’ roll atmosphere and an unpretentious crowd. These two element turn it into the official place to recharge for anyone who finds it difficult to accept the hipsterism of the city. As for the restrooms, they’re almost surprisingly neat and clean. In Silon you will find two comfortably sized bathrooms, well lit, very clean and usually with toilet paper. While you’re waiting to go in, you can peruse the posters attached to the wooden red doors and find out about the latest exhibitions and parties in the city.

Courteousness: The truth is that they probably won’t notice that you went in
A drink along the way: Any shot at a laughable price
Cleanliness: As clean as your apartment, assuming that you’re cleaner than the average Tel Avivian
Overall grade: 7

The bathroom at Stax. The real highlight is the hand dryer masquerading as Cookie Monster.
City Mouse

Stax
49 Mazeh Street (map)

The most pleasant dimly lit bar in town. With a different DJ every night and tasty, sophisticated food, Stax attracts a varied Tel Aviv crowd. In addition, you’ll find cool and inviting restrooms: Two large bathrooms decorated with graffiti (but not too much), stocked with enough toilet paper to last a whole year. The lighting is excellent for an amateurish touch-up or for fixing your hair in front of the mirror, and the real highlight is the hand dryer masquerading as Cookie Monster.

The staff at Stax is always pleasant, and there’s a good chance that you’ll have no problem using the bathroom even if you don’t order anything, but they’ll probably be happy if you have a shot with them.

Courteousness: Smiles in all directions, they’re always with it
A snack along the way: Divine roasted potatoes with cheddar
Cleanliness: Clean enough not to have to hover over the toilet while you pee
Overall grade: 8

Denim
83 King George Street (map)

The bathroom at Denim, where the walls are entirely covered with old, colorful record covers that you can stare at forever.
City Mouse

Popular with residents of central Tel Aviv, this bar not only offers the most worthwhile happy hour in town but also a wonderful restroom that exemplifies the statement, “It’s not the quantity but the quality.” There’s one huge bathroom whose walls are entirely covered with old, colorful record covers that you can stare at forever. The bathroom in Denim is always spick-and-span, has relatively good toilet paper and the soap container is always full. In addition – and there’s no explanation because the place is always full – there’s never a line.

Courteousness: The staff is pleasant, and on a crowded day they won’t notice that you snuck in to use the bathroom
A snack along the way: Nachos that remind you of Mexico during your post-army trip
Cleanliness: As clean as your mom’s house
Overall grade: 8

Rama
38 King George Street (map)

Rama's bathroom: The over-the-sink mirror, ringed by lightbulbs, is perfectly illuminated.
City Mouse

In keeping with the carefully prepared dishes and the professional service, Rama offers an aesthetic, clean and meticulous restroom. The disadvantage is that there’s only one bathroom, but at least it feels like you’re in a boutique hotel or the apartment of fussy single girls. The over-the-sink mirror, ringed by lightbulbs, is perfectly illuminated, the door closes completely and locks easily, and there’s plenty of toilet paper. When Rama is crowded with all the fancy people from the city center, you’ll be able to use the bathroom with no problem.

Courteousness: Slight but tolerable snobbishness
A snack along the way: Pizza polenta – enough said
Cleanliness: Clean enough to sit on the toilet seat without lining it with paper
Overall grade: 6

Chateau Shual
19 Malkhei Yisra'el (map)

You won't want to leave the bathroom at Chateau Shual.
City Mouse

The atmosphere in Chateau Shual reminds you of your living room, in a good way. The wine bar, big on style, offers a selection of wines and an excellent and perfectly priced food menu. As is befitting the atmosphere – something between homey and “we went out to have a bottle of wine” – the restrooms don’t disappoint. The two bathrooms are separated by a sink area decorated with nature photographs and illuminated with a purple fairy light. Actually, you don’t want to leave the bathroom. So what lowered the grade? The staff doesn’t really let you just walk in to use it, and the wooden doors don’t close completely.

Courteousness: You guys are nice, but you could do better
A drink along the way: A glass of fine wine that comes with a square of chocolate
Cleanliness: Scrubbed on the level of “remove your shoes”
Overall grade: 7

Port Said
5 Har Sinai Street (map)

A bathroom at Port Said. Although they may not be the cleanest, you’ll usually find toilet paper.
City Mouse

Who isn’t familiar with the hottest place in Tel Aviv – and its restrooms, of course. Who hasn’t spent an entire evening standing on the sidewalk with a glass of beer, feeling really cool, believing that any moment now a table will open up? It’s true, Port Said is always crowded, and it’s true, the waitresses will sometimes ignore you. But the place has clear advantages: excellent music, fine food, beautiful people and, of course, the restrooms. In Port Said the restrooms are on the side, which gives them a serious edge: You can easily sneak into them. They include three bathrooms with metal doors, and although they may not be the cleanest, you’ll usually find toilet paper. They get the job done.

Courteousness: Not really. We’ll give them a 10 for professionalism, though
A snack along the way: The sweet potato. The eggplant. The chicken sandwich. Actually, everything.
Cleanliness: Touch as little as possible, or you may get stuck to the toilet seat and won’t be able to get up
Overall grade: 6

Haminzar
60 Allenby Street (map)

The bathrooms at Haminzar have pleasant white ceramic tiles and a smattering of graffiti and stickers.
City Mouse

The legendary Tel Aviv bar that’s open (almost) all hours of the day, where they’ll never judge you if you order matjes at 5 A.M. or devour a pretzel instead of lunch. The restrooms are the pride of the State of Tel Aviv. Haminzar is the least pretentious place in town with excellent service, visited by people from all walks of life. The drinks are laughably cheap and the food is very, very tasty. Suiting a place without any posturing, the restrooms have pleasant white ceramic tiles, are covered with a smattering of graffiti and stickers, and the doors of the stalls are classic: They lock easily and you can see people’s feet. Another advantage is that you can use the restrooms even if you’re not a customer, especially if the place is crowded - just go in.

Courteousness: The staff isn’t overly obsequious; they’re polite to just the right degree
A snack along the way: The most heavenly pretzel in the universe, and full of surprises, too
Cleanliness: Could be better, but overall it passes
Overall grade: 7

Salon Berlin
15 Najara Street (map)

The restrooms at Salon Berlin are not the highlight of the place, but useful enough to be mentioned.
City Mouse

A Tel Aviv institution popular with both 20-somethings with 50-year-old fishermen who come for a beer on Friday afternoon. The place has a happy hour until 10:30 P.M. (definitely a massive goodwill gesture) and tasty food that goes well with the beer. The restrooms are not the highlight of the place, but useful enough to be mentioned. There are two bathrooms with wooden doors that look almost improvised, but they close completely and lock properly. They will almost always have toilet paper, and if not, ask one of the nice people who work there, they’ll certainly take care of you. On a crowded evening - which is almost every evening - you’ll be able to use the restrooms without any problems.

Courteousness: Good people, it’s a pleasure to have a shot with them
A drink along the way: A beer of your choice at Berlin prices
Cleanliness: Are you familiar with the Central Bus Station?
Overall grade: 6

Uganda
5 Simtat Beit HaBad (map)

The only drawback of Uganda's bathroom is that you have to climb some 15 steps to get there.
City Mouse

An almost paradoxical bar: On the one hand, we hate it, on the other, we keep coming back. The truth is, we always enjoy ourselves. The music is excellent but can be heard mainly inside, and aside from the cheap beers and the record store, the place offers two nice bathrooms. The only drawback – albeit a serious one, especially late at night, when you’re already more than tipsy – is that you have to climb some 15 steps to get there. When you get upstairs, you find spacious and pretty clean bathrooms which usually have a supply of toilet paper. The restrooms are decorated with graffiti and stickers in many colors, and you can stop for a visit even if you haven’t ordered a glass of water.

Courteousness: Not their strong suit
A drink along the way: A bottle of Becks at kiosk prices
Cleanliness: As clean as an average shared apartment
Overall grade: 6

Teder.FM
9 Jaffa Boulevard (map)

You can always use the restrooms at Teder.FM as long as the place is open.
City Mouse

The perfect place for the summer, with the Holy Trinity of cheap beer, pizza that tastes like Paradise and time under the open sky. Teder is an ideal place for a date, for hanging out with friends you haven’t seen for years, for good concerts – in short, for everything. Everyone loves Teder, and the inviting atmosphere in the spacious area also passes to its restrooms, which are accessible to everyone. We must clarify: You can always use the restrooms as long as the place is open. If it’s evening and there’s no line outside (which is most of the time), you can easily drop in. There are three smallish bathrooms with metal doors that close and lock, one sink and a large full-sized mirror for those who want to beautify themselves.

Courteousness: Depends on the day, and how much alcohol you have imbibed
A snack along the way: The best pizza you’ll ever eat
Cleanliness: Some things are better not discussed
Overall grade: 6

Sputnik
122 Allenby Street (map)

Sputnik bathroom. In order to go in you’ll have to pass through a somewhat strange chain-link curtain.
City Mouse

A bar with a futuristic retro design, one of the few places in town that has a courtyard with trees and warm lighting, an interior area and even a path down to a plaza with another bar and DJ. The clientele varies. Midweek you can find couples on their first date and groups of nice yuppies, and on weekends people come from all over the country to go wild in the plaza downstairs. The place has one bathroom at the entrance and another two in the area of the upper bar, which are the most pleasant. Between those two there is a sink and mirror, and in order to go in you’ll have to pass through a somewhat strange chain-link curtain. The bathrooms are clean and neat, and dark enough so you won’t see whether you missed the toilet bowl.

Courteousness: Charming and patient staff
A drink along the way: Any cocktail you order is great
Cleanliness: Spick-and-span, unbelievable considering that it’s on Allenby
Overall grade: 8

Dizzy Frishdon
121 Dizengoff Street (map)

The bathroom at Dizzy Frishdon: A showcase of excessive Tel Avivianism.
City Mouse

This place, popular with young people from the north of town, offers a variety of drinks at prices that aren’t for every pocketbook, but does have a party atmosphere. If you’re in your twenties or thirties and like a high society atmosphere, this is the place for you. And now for the really important part: the restrooms at Dizzy, as the regulars call it, are a showcase of excessive Tel Avivianism, with red doors and graffiti on the walls and mirror. At the same time, the cleanliness, the available toilet paper and the huge sink should be favorably noted. A final drawback for those who are exhausted: You have to climb about 12 steps in order to reach it.

Courteousness: Reasonable minus, as is fitting for Dizengoff snobs
A drink along the way: Maredsous - a very heady beer, rare on the Tel Aviv bar landscape
Cleanliness: As clean as the home of those who have money to hire a cleaner
Overall grade: 7

Centro
69 Dizengoff Street (map)

The bathroom at Centro is so beautiful that you could write a book about it.
City Mouse

A bar, café and restaurant. The place is not only home to the most courteous staff, high quality food and a pleasant atmosphere, but restrooms so beautiful that you could write a book about them. Although they are on a floor below, you’ll be filled with such energy from their vividness that you won’t mind climbing back up the stairs. The Centro restrooms are in a spacious area with high ceilings, pink and purple wallpaper and sinks that wouldn’t shame an Italian estate. At your disposal are two ordinary bathrooms and one huge one, and what awaits you is an experience in itself.

Courteousness: They know the meaning of customer service
A drink along the way: Don’t leave without having the Captain Hook cocktail
Cleanliness: A 5-star hotel in London. We’re not exaggerating
Overall grade: 9