An Outbreak of Dichteria

Avi Dichter is a man after my own heart. My heart goes out to those who battle against all odds, and those who reject the consensus. In his own party the gossips are talking behind his back:

A sigh of relief was heard throughout the land. Not only did the welcome rain wash away our fear of drought, but Avi Dichter announced his candidacy for the leadership of Kadima. Suddenly, those almost killed by the high tension came back to life. Is Dichter worth an article? Dichteria is worth it - it sounds like a disease.

A raised eyebrow greeted the candidate. How will a third person manage to push himself between those two, Tzipi Livni and Shaul Mofaz, and how will he be elected without an electorate? "It didn't really surprise those who know him," wrote Sima Kadmon in Yedioth Ahronoth. "The question of whether he has the slightest chance makes no impression on Dichter, who in the last primaries won only 6 percent of the vote."

Avi Dichter
Tomer Appelbaum

Avi is a man after my own heart. My heart goes out to those who battle against all odds, and those who reject the consensus. In his own party the gossips are talking behind his back: "Dichter is an incomprehensible person," sighed a leading member of Kadima. "It's hard to know whether he's more anti-Tzipi or more of a bok [fool or imbecile]."

A "bok"? Is someone who was chief of the Shin Bet security service and public security minister a bok? Impossible. After all, according to the dictionary a bok is stupid, mentally deficient. Has a state secret been revealed here? Is it permitted to say such a thing in Ashkelon - Dichter's hometown - which is now perched anxiously on the country's periphery. And check it out - the bok isn't just stupid, he's a stubborn goat (the word comes from the Yiddish ).

The sigh of relief is replaced by a sigh of anguish, which erupts from an aching heart. For years this bok-blockhead was the guardian of our walls! Where are we headed, where have we been, if that is the considered opinion on the person in charge of security, on whose word governments depended.

The jobs are switched, the jobholders remain and merely change places - the same personality, the same intelligence; no alternative leader has presented himself as a follower. He, Dichter, promises to bring Kadima into the government immediately. Nu, we won't be getting any milk out of this old goat.

It's not the man but the phenomenon that is interesting, because the national holding pen is full of such old goats, remembered for the good days of their youth. Similar things are whispered about many of his friends - who share a common background and a cloned history. They're not exactly smart, nor are they particularly stupid: they're "strange," not to say "eccentric."

It's clear where they've come from - they're all from the same army unit - and not clear where they're headed, what they have to offer, and where their main strength lies. And when we say that someone is "strange" - enough said, and perhaps we've already said too much.

Moshe "Bogie" Ya'alon, who was born with a high shoe in his hand, is also strange. As is Meir Dagan, and so is Shaul Mofaz, whose claim to the throne suffers from his exaggerated opinion of himself. And Dan Halutz, who is now keeping company with his own kind. And Matan Vilnai, who lost something in China. And Ehud Barak, whom nobody really understands - if there is anything to understand, that is. A long series of strange characters who actually make no difference. How the mighty have fallen into politics.

This is the collection that will soon authorize the most crucial decision in our lives and deaths. Whether in the coalition or the opposition, whether before or after the deed - to a man they will approve it. Even before the disaster, Dichter "sees no difference between Likud and Kadima," and that is even more true in the midst of it. Be quiet, no more than 500, maximum 1,000, Israelis are being blown up.

Together, the boks of Israel will determine our fate with strange, Dichteria-struck considerations, which will be comprehensible only to them and to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. To us - never.