Underblog - August/September 2005

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

The MTV generation

Shimon Peres on MTV? What's next - Ariel Sharon's armor plated Volvo on Pimp My Ride or Limor Livnat and Gila Finkelstein fighting over Shaul Yahalom on Dismissed?

At the risk of laboring the point, I have to add: This season's line-up should include Celebrity Deathmatch with Uzi Landau and Bibi Netanyahu slugging it out over who will challenge Sharon for the Likud leadership, and Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher fooling Shaul Mofaz into thinking that David Copperfield has made all the Palestinians disappear from the West Bank.

[Posted by Sara Miller at 17:10][E-mail me]

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Small bladders of our time #4859

George W. Bush: The 43rd president of the United States got caught short on September 14, 2005 during the opening ceremony of the United Nations World Summit. He took immediate steps to rectify the situation, by placing the onus for the decision on his secretary of state.

Next week: When Bill got caught in the Oval Office

[Posted by Sara Miller at 20:28][E-mail me]

Sunday, September 4, 2005

Role model

I ended up sitting next to a 17-year-old the other day, for reasons beyond my control. She looked at me, I looked at her, and then she pointed to my right eyebrow, which is pierced. The following conversation ensued:

Her: Did that hurt?

Me: No. The one in my belly button hurt more.

Her: Wow. You've got your belly button pierced too?

Me: Yes. I've got a tattoo as well (I never miss the opportunity to work it into the conversation)

Her: Wow. How old are you?

Me: 33

Her: Wow. Really?

Me: Yes

Her: Wow. Do you have children?

Me: No

Her: I didn't think so. Anyway, I think it's great when older people do young things. When I'm old, I want to be like you too.

Me (reaching for my mental Zimmer frame): Thank you.

[Posted by Sara Miller at 18:29][E-mail me]

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Disengagement 101 In honor of the withdrawal, I decided to disengage from a few things in my life that are detrimental (or just mental)

1. Spending money on cabs. After all, what could be more challenging or exhilarating than playing "identify the unusual odor" with fellow bus passengers as I make my way to work.

2. Fighting with my mad neighbor upstairs. She is old, no one ever seems to visit her (for good reason) and her raison d'etre seems to be to make my life a misery. Why give her what she wants?

3. Belly dancing. It cost me 600 shekels and 12 one-hour lessons to discover I have the grace of a dead cart horse and the coordination of a drunken one-legged gorilla. On the other hand, Tina, our instructor, is supremely coordinated, a wonderful teacher and a fantastic dancer. I hate her.

4. Snorting to show disapproval. The most indelicate of Israeli habits and baffling to my non-Israeli friends. Who could fail to be impressed by someone who sounds like a pig with asthma?

I could go on, but my bus is due soon, and I have a dance class to get to... [Posted by Sara Miller at 16:04][E-mail me]

Saturday, August 6, 2005

Breaking the tattoo taboo

My mum, who has a healthy Scouse interest in football and a healthy female interest in David Beckham, was thrilled with the England captain's choice of new tattoo.

To celebrate their love, Mr and Mrs Beckham have had Hebrew declarations of devotion inked into their skin.

My mother is as disapproving of my own tattoo as I am proud (it's the most rebellious thing I have ever done, and I've done a few), but for Becks, she has made an exception.

She called me from England specifically to tell me about it.

'I'm thinking of persuading Peter to get one,' she said, referring to her beau of 15 years.

I'm still not sure whether she was joking or not.

[Posted by Sara Miller at 15:38][E-mail me]

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