One hopes a certain 19-year-old boy, whose name mercifully has not been released by authorities in Portland, Oregon, is proud of himself today. One hopes he got a real kick out of his little stunt. Because nobody in the Portland Water Bureau is laughing, that's for sure.
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The kid went and urinated in a city reservoir Wednesday night, the video cameras caught him in the act, the police arrested him and his two friends – and now the water bureau's decided to flush 38 million gallons of the reservoir's water down the whatever, The Independent of Britain reported on Thursday.
How much damage can one kid's stream do to a reservoir? Not much, says water bureau administrator David Shaff – but it doesn't matter. Customers have "an expectation that their water is not deliberately contaminated," he said - and the bureau isn't going to let all those folks down because of one kid who isn't man enough to hold his urine.
"It's stupid," Shaff told the Oregonian newspaper. "You can see the sign that says: 'This is your drinking water. Don't spit, throw, toss anything in it.' He's four feet away from that sign."
Stupid – and possibly criminal. Police are writing up their report. They're going to give it to the district attorney. And then Mr. Cool, Mr. Wiseguy may just find that a certain environmental hazard that's no doubt very dear to him has gotten caught in a wringer.