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John Oliver's Epic Tirade Against Third Party Candidates Jill Stein and Gary Johnson

The host of HBO's 'Last Week Tonight' vetted third party candidates Stein and Johnson as though they were 'legitimate' candidates, not just spoilers, and did not like what he found.

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John Oliver really doesn't like Jill Stein or Gary Johnson, the two most prominent third party candidates challenging Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump in this Novermber's presidential election.  

Oliver summed up the appeal of a third party candidate saying, “It’s hardly surprising that some are seeking an alternative. When your main two options are depressing, any third option seems good.” 

“If you’re at a KFC Taco Bell and you see a bunch of pigeons eating something in the parking lot, you might well think, ‘hang on, what have they got over there?’”

Oliver took particular exception to the Green Party candidate Jill Stein, who he described as “the candidate who looks most like she believes carob is just as good as chocolate.”

Beyond poking fun at her appearance and past as a member of a 90's grunge band, Oliver hit her on policy. “When I said her student debt proposal was her version of Donald Trump’s border wall I meant it, because the only way that it could be any more unlikely is if she claimed Mexico was somehow going to pay for it.”

He went on to hit her for declaring the Brexit vote a 'victory' and then stating the exact opposite on her campaign website, as well as for her flip-flopping on the link between vaccinations and autism. 

“The more you look at both Gary Johnson and Jill Stein, the more you realize the lack of coverage they complain about so much might have genuinely benefited them because their key proposals seem to crumble under the slightest scrutiny,” Oliver continued.  

After lambasting Johnson, the Libertarian candidate, for his now infamous Aleppo gaffe and his inability to name a foreign leader he admired, Oliver concluded by breaking down just how its going to feel to have to vote for Trump, Clinton, Johnson or Stein. 

“That means as uncomfortable as this is, everyone has to own the flaws of whoever you vote for. Whether they’re a lying, handsy, narcissistic sociopath; a hawkish, Wall Street-friendly embodiment of everything some people can’t stand about politics; an ill-tempered mountain molester with a radical, dangerous tax plan that even he can’t defend; or a conspiracy-pandering liberal neophyte with no clear understanding of how governments operate.”