Illustration by Eran Wolkowsy
Illustration by Eran Wolkowsy.
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1. In Israel, the terms “civil protest” or “civil demonstration” are applied to:

A. A protest by those eligible for the draft, calling for expansion of the draft, as part of their acceptance of a perpetual state of war.
B. A demonstration by army veterans in favor of equal military service, so as not to look like patsies by doing guard duty or other routine-security activity.
C. A demonstration by reservists on furlough and/or retired career-army men in favor of bringing additional recruits under the wings of the army barracks.
D. All of the above. By order.

2. In Israel, “social protest” and “social-justice demonstration” are:

A. Clean names for a civil protest.
B. An umbrella name for all the paranoias and demons scurrying about in the tortured psyche of a serving prime minister.
C. A form of nonpolitical summer entertainment indulged in by hipsters and dipsters on Saturday nights.
D. All of the above.

3. “They thought I would go down fast − and all of them were wrong in their calculations. I am still standing.” Who is the speaker, and under what circumstances?

A. Syrian President Bashar Assad, in an interview with a Turkish newspaper.
B. Elton John, in one of his songs.
C. Natan Eshel to the prime minister after his “ouster” as bureau chief.
D. Shaul Mofaz to a bodyguard, after being pushed by demonstrators on the steps of Beit Ariella in Tel Aviv during the civil demonstration in favor of the draft.

4. Who was described as “a giant,” “one of the last of the titans,” “moderate,” “pragmatic,” “a basalt cliff,” “far-seeing”?

A. Yitzhak Shamir, in state eulogies.
B. Ernest Borgnine, in The New York Times obituary for the actor this week.
C. MK Yohanan Plesner, hailed by the media as the new star in our political firmament.
D. Dan Halutz, by members of the Labor Party, as part of their effort to persuade party leader Shelly Yacimovich to accept the former chief of staff into Labor’s ranks after he left Kadima.

5. Who said in the past few days, “There is nothing easier than resigning, but that is not the solution”?

A. President Bashar Assad of Syria in a telephone conversation with U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
B. Shaul Mofaz to his colleagues in Kadima who urged him to leave the Netanyahu government.
C. Dan Halutz to his pals in Kadima, before being answered by thunderous silence.
D. Actor Ernest Borgnine this week, before leaving this world.

6. Who was quoted this week, and in what context, as saying, “My totality is reflected in great and courageous moves”?

A. The late Yitzhak Shamir, in connection with his great and courageous move in torpedoing Shimon Peres’ London Agreement with King Hussein.
B. U.S. President Barack Obama, after the Supreme Court approved his revolutionary health-care plan.
C. Dan Halutz upon leaving Kadima and knocking on the door of the Labor Party.
D. Actor Itay Turgeman from “Survivor,” referring to his decision to move in with the dancer Anna Aronov.

7. Who said recently, and under what circumstances, “If they see that you don’t react, they take it as weakness”?

A. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad following a large-scale exercise in which long-range surface-to-surface missiles were fired.
B. President Bashar Assad, in a similar exercise.
C. A Military Policeman testifying in court on a charge that he fired a live bullet into the forehead of a 10-year-old Palestinian boy and killed him, during a demonstration at Na’alin in the West Bank.
D. Confidants of President Vladimir Putin after a girls’ punk-rock band released a protest clip against him and now faces a seven-year prison term.

8. Who said, “The next confrontation will be far more violent. We will have to attack very strongly, in an extremely violent way, including large-scale destruction within the villages ... We will aim to kill 13 out of 15 soldiers on the other side, so that the two survivors will tell their commanders what happened”?

A. Brad Pitt playing Lieutenant Aldo Raine, the avenger of Nazis, in Tarantino’s “Inglourious Basterds.”
B. Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah, in a speech from the bunker, on a bad hair day.
C. Atilla the Hun to his troops on the eve of a battle against the Visigoths.
D. A senior officer from IDF Northern Command, in a special briefing to military correspondents this week.

9. What will former State Comptroller Micha Lindenstrauss do, now that he has retired?

A. Take part in evenings of storytellers with Yossi Alphi.
B. Continue to transgress by writing, but this time without any restriction on the number of words.
C. Join and leave Kadima, like everyone.
D. Take part in “Dancing with Stars.”

Answers and notes

1. D − Showing that militarism in Israel is the right-wing trendsetter even in the “civil agenda.”
2. D − And, in the absence of a civil entity with public weight and political consciousness, the vacuum in the center is flanked by two diverging paths that are swallowed in the fog: “the societal” and “the military.”
3. A.
4. A − Showing that a eulogy steeped in praise, even for the most failed and harmful of leaders, is one of the perks reserved in Israel for senior figures − along with the chauffeur, the office and the lifelong telephone expenses. It’s also a good deal for the eulogizer: “If this historical footnote gets praise like this, just imagine how I will be upgraded when my hour comes.”
5. B − Even though Mofaz himself proved that there is something easier than resigning: join, defect and so on, interminably.
6. D − In an interview with the entertainment supplement of the newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth.
7. C − In his testimony, the accused added, “Stones were thrown at the jeep massively ... I felt danger and fright concretely.” This reminds us that in the eyes of the world we may look like brutal soldiers in an occupation army, but in our self-perception we are wretched victims, perpetually at risk of a potential pogrom.
8. D.
9. B − It turns out that his thick magnum opus, “Report on the Carmel Fire,” was only the warm-up for a literary career, to which he is now devoting himself. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.