All kinds of creatures arrive at the glass menagerie called "parliament": mammals and reptiles, vertebrates and invertebrates, amphibians and mollusks.
We are particularly interested in a peculiar creature, the recycled MK. From the beginning it was unclear how he'd made his way there, but once he arrived he stayed. He immediately felt at home - is it his natural environment? - as though the law of conservation of matter applied to him. He was never actually elected - after all, he is only one unknown among the riddle of boxes - yet he has somehow managed to survive, jumping from an electric chair to an ejection seat. Just before the MK wipes out, salvation arrives from elsewhere.
His Knesset membership was a gift. As King Solomon said: He who hates gifts shall live; and as someone who hates gifts he is still alive, our boy, and now he's also kicking.
Ariel Sharon isn't the only one to have played the role of Santa Claus on Kadima's Christmas Day. They also pass out holiday gifts on the left. A budding MK is willing to represent his movement-benefactor, as long as the party allows him to maintain a safe distance from it; and who knows when Meretz will be reborn.
When Lova Eliav, Shulamit Aloni and Geula Cohen retired from their mother parties, nobody asked Shula-who or Lova-what or who is this Geula. Nor did anybody ask why, and why all of a sudden. Everything was understood: They had reached the end of their road, after their party walked in the dark and got lost along the way. There was no other choice, the time to depart had arrived; if on the left I'll go right, if on the right I'll go left.
They were well known, they had earned a name and status thanks to their viewpoints and battles; their credo came before their ego. Meanwhile the recycled MK moves along as if he doesn't even have a name, like a turkey; when is Purim anyway?
When Otniel Schneller, the people's tribune, threatens to desert, it's not entirely clear who this deserter is or why he is deserting. And when Ronit Tirosh - the crowd's favorite - shakes her fur like a lioness, only the unfortunate Tzipi Livni is afraid of her mousy roar.
Were the two of them, Otniel and Ronit, to go on the strength of their magnetism and stand for election together, they would probably garner 300 votes - presuming they have large and supportive families. They should be reminded that in order to cross the minimum threshold, to win your first Knesset seat you need 70,000 votes.
Because there is no way to determine what people really believe, we will here propose a test of good faith: resigning without getting a minister's position in exchange, nor deputy minister, nor committee chairman, nor a free ticket to an additional term. If the rebel loses in his rebellion, it's only because he is fed up; if he profits, it's only because he was overcome by greed.
"Gutter politics," the opposition leader accusingly told to the prime minister. She considers Benjamin Netanyahu a dirty politician, and so do we; life is in the sewer.
When the sewage starts flowing slowly through the open ditches, undermines the foundations and gives off a stench, some hold their noses, some shut their windows and seclude themselves, and some leave the place, never to return.
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