"Orthodoxy has no answers for us". That is not correct. Not "orthodoxy" but Torah defines your behaviroal as a "sin". Orthodoxy has nothing to do with it. If you don't like (agree) with Torah you are free to chose another religion or create your own. But please don't call it "Judaism" - it is not Judaism. As much as I symphatize with your situation - you have no right to change tenets of the religion to accomodate your conditions and still call it "Judaism". Although if you are a lesbian - there is one way out for you since Torah specifically talks about men, not women in that respect. But to do so your Reform movement should specify that it is OK to be lesbian but not OK to be male gay, which would be sex descrimination - would it?
UN Security Council urges Greek and Turkish Cypriots to reach peace agreement (AP)
from the article: Reform Movement publishes blessings for sex change operation