We're not asking for much ... just the 1967 borders and beyond while our more impatient brothers in Gaza demand the 1948 borders and beyond. Don't pay much attention to them though, they're just kidding they told me. Oh, and all of Al Quds, er, I mean the Old City Jerusalem with the Haram-esh Sharif, er, I mean the Temple Mount would be a nice token of consideration for our long wait, don't you think? Then we would like to settle our millions of refugees with their millions of years of history in Palestine in Israel proper because you remember when the American author, Mark Twain, visited us about 145 years ago he had such a glowing report of how great and masterful our social achievements and built environments were at the time and you can see how we've even progressed from that time on. Then of course you know we'd like your blessings and financial support for our new, swash international airport as Tehran has already stockpiled a lot of necessary "aid" to aid our expansionist agenda (sorry, can't share those operational details of Greater Palestine as of yet) and we're told and they're very keen on starting diplomatic cover, er, I mean relations ASAP. On these trivial requests and our humble stance we ask you to support our, er, well being, as we establish our, er, Welfare State of Palestine that you can generously donate sacrificial funds to and perhaps get tax write-offs for a just cause, maybe.
Suspected assailant in car-ramming attack in West Bank shot (Haaretz)