Let me get this straight, you say "But the thing that matters more is the way the things we say or do make others feel. If their feelings are negative and fearful, then that is what they will remember. Our words and actions will drown in the sea of negative emotions. The most important thing we can do is make sure that when people remember “how we made them feel” they are remembering the positive feeling they had." Because YOUR actions and YOUR words when your friends use the R word indicate pretty stongly that you don't care how it makes individual with developmental disabilities, and the people who love them, feel? Because YOUR actions and YOUR words have left me and people I care about feeling pretty darn terrible.
2 Turkish security personnel killed, 24 wounded by Kurdish suicide bomb in eastern Turkey (Reuters)
from the article: What Maya Angelou had to teach the Orthodox Jewish community