The greatest show on earth: Rachel's million-dollar Bat Mitzvah party
It is with great pride that Sheri and Josh Grassman cordially invite you to Rachel’s Cirque Du Soleil Bat Mitzvah Fantasy at the Mirage Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.
Inspired by an article in the NY Post about million dollar Bat Mitzvah parties, “For Carly's grand entrance, she descended from the ceiling of Cipriani Wall Street harnessed to a wire and dressed in a catsuit.”
It is with great pride that Sheri and Josh Grassman cordially invite you to Rachel’s Cirque Du Soleil Bat Mitzvah Fantasy at the Mirage Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Please join us on the weekend of August 24th for three days of prayer, partying and craps at The Strip’s premiere luxury hotel. Watch Rachel fly out of a real cannon into the crowd as she becomes a woman on this holy day. Get pumped about our surprise cantor for the night (Adele) who will be harmonizing and scatting during the singing portion of the service.
The dress code for the service is steampunk casual. Top hats, monocles, stilts, and bustiers are strongly encouraged. Whoever looks the most like a 1930’s Parisian street thief wins a secret prize (timeshare in Boca). Make sure to bring multiple outfit changes though, because the theme of the party is Pimp and Ho (parents should dress up as well!).
If for some reason you cannot afford the ticket to Vegas or the hotel accommodation we will be giving out a couple of full scholarships. If you would like to apply for financial aid, please write a three page essay on why Rachel totally rules. Extra points will be awarded for those who make a rap video about her that goes viral.
Below is an itinerary of the weekend’s activities. Please checkmark the things you would like to participate in and mail back by August 1st.
Friday, August 24th
For the kids & adults:
Noon - Bat Mitzvah service being held in the Guns N’ Roses room at The Hard Rock Cafe featuring klezmer scatting by Adele
1pm - 3D feature length movie and slideshow about Rachel’s childhood by Academy Award winning director James Cameron
2pm - Annie Liebowitz photo booth
3pm - 2am - All night omelette buffett and mashed potato jacuzzi
Saturday, August 25th
For the kids:
8pm - Midnight Pimp & Ho party at the Casino Room in the Mirage Lounge
Live burlesque dancers and magic show
Mac ‘n cheese waterfall and mocktail bar
Tattoo booth featuring real tattoos by a Samoan sailor
For the adults:
9pm - 1am Swingers happy hour and key party
Midnight - 6am Botox chamber and cocaine social
Sunday, August 26th
Indoor bungee jumping party
Boozy hangover brunch
Sexy game of naked Twister
The first 100 people to RSVP receive a complimentary goody bag including one endangered panther kitty, a diamond encrusted Torah saying and a lifesize photo of Rachel shooting out of a cannon.
We hope to see you there!
Sheri and Josh Grassman
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”
OSCAR WILDE, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Rose Surnow is a comedian and writer who lives in Brooklyn.