Why marry Jewish? It's just a personal preference

Jews today are faced with a plethora of issues that threaten the cohesiveness of both our culture and our faith. The importance placed on marrying within the Jewish community stands out as a main point of contention.

In discussing this issue with people of all different backgrounds, I have been surprised to learn how divisive and heated the conversation can become.

Inevitably, the issue of marriying within the Jewish community affects both Jews and non-Jews alike.

With the rate of interfaith marriage among American Jews now at roughly 50 percent, many Jews might be sensitive not to offend their non-Jewish partners.

Additionally, many people outside of the Jewish community might perceive that discrimination and exclusion lay under the surface of this tradition.

Despite the pitfalls of offending my peers, making the case for my own desire to have a Jewish partner has become quite simple and painless.

After once stating that I imagine myself having a Jewish wife someday, a friend promptly contended that I was "excluding almost 90 percent of the women in the world."

I corrected my friend; the figure is actually about 99.8 percent of women in the world. All arithmetic aside, the notion that Jews who prefer to marry other Jews is some dehumanizing form of discrimination is nonsense.

Although this tradition is on the decline, there are still a large number of Jews, including myself, that have a personal preference to marry someone that shares the same cultural values.

The saying 'birds of a feather flock together' might be an oversimplification, but there is some truth to it.

Many people simply feel more comfortable in certain social circles, and there is nothing morally reprehensible about this. Personally, I don't want to have to explain to my future in-laws why I make certain jokes, why I use certain Yiddish words, or why going out for Chinese food and a movie is a suitable way to celebrate Christmas.

There are other Jews like myself, happy with the religious and cultural values instilled in us during our upbringing - we would like nothing more than to gift these values to our children.

For most people, the easiest way to pass certain values onto the next generation is to find a partner that shares those values. It just so happens that given my neurotic behavior and extensive collection of Mel Brooks films, I am betting that the best partner for me will be a Jew.

There are, however, many Jews who might feel that certain values can be preserved regardless if their partner is Jewish or not. Many Jews that I know would agree with me that as long as there is love and respect, there is no reason why two people of different cultures can't build a family together.

This only reinforces my point that my desire to pursue a Jewish partner is done based on personal preference and not because of any dogmatic religious decree.

Contrarily, there are certain ultra-Orthodox elements within Judaism that vehemently oppose the intermarriage of Jews and non-Jews. There are also policies of the Israeli government that present significant obstacles to intermarriage. While I don't agree the presence of such obstacles, this does nothing to change the thinking of many young Jews with regard to Jewish marriage. For me, and many of my Jewish friends, marrying within the Jewish community is nothing more than a personal preference.

The marriage of Jews, who are a tiny percentage of the world's population, within the Jewish community should be seen as a celebration of our cultural values and respect of our heritage. My own preference to pursue a Jewish wife is not part of mass conspiracy to preserve racial purity or cultural sanctity. It is simply what works for me.

More by Elliott Antman on Haaretz.com:An American Jew's guide to living in IsraelReflections of an American Jew in IsraelInterfaith dialogue is pointless without intra-faith reflection