Viktor Fedorovych Yanukovych sat with his aides and advisers and bemoaned his bitter fate: Friends, how long can we be stuck here in Kiev without some brief jaunt in the wider world? But the world is closed to us, we're treated like lepers and all because of that damned Yulia, who hounds us even from prison.
Let's figure this out, Tovarichi. How can we break this international siege? Wait, wasn't Israel's foreign minister just here? Didn't we upgrade relations? Didn't he invite us to Jerusalem? That Lieberman seems a man after my own heart, one of us. It would be impolite to ignore the Israeli hand outstretched to us; c'mon guys, we're going.
They draw up a list of agenda items and bilateral agreements. The meetings with President Shimon Peres, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Avigdor "Yvet" Lieberman, of course, will focus on their dissidents and ours, too.
Ukraine can offer wisdom and experience in this area. Yanukovych was prime minister twice, but his second term ended badly: He and his party were not really his. He learned his lesson, and when he returned as president in 2010, he was determined to remove all impediments to ruling with an iron fist.
He and his friends could have done just fine with no opposition, but America and the European Union have other ideas about democracy and sometimes one must pretend to be enlightened. Jerusalem may be a rainy-day city of refuge, but no one would forgo a visit to Washington or Paris on a sunny day.
Viktor Fedorovych can tolerate an opposition as long as it's loyal, responsible and cooperative. Unfortunately, Yulia Tymoshenko was not. She defamed Ukraine and was sentenced to prison for seven years for reeducation and repentance. She now faces another indictment. It's hard to imagine her leaving prison with the same annoying hairstyle several years from now.
Yulia wasn't the only culprit. Every human rights group that dared to challenge Fedorovych or that received foreign funding, every judge who made his own decisions and every journalist who failed to fall into line must face the music.
Democracy is fine, but the president was elected by the majority and in Ukraine majority rules, not him.
During the flight Viktor Fedorovych addresses his entourage: Yvet seems like the kind of guy I can talk to, but their prime minister - he seems to be zigzagging lately, taking a step in the right direction and then getting cold feet. That's no way to build a popular democracy. I'll show him the way. He'll always have Kiev, if not Paris.
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