Subscribe to Print Edition | Thu., June 05, 2008 Sivan 2, 5768 | | Israel Time: 14:08 (EST+7) web haaretz.com   Back to Homepage Rosner's Domain Diplomacy Defense Jewish World Opinion National Print Edition Advertising Books Peres Conference Business Real Estate Easy Start Travel Week's End Anglo File

Family affair:The Karavanis/ Moshav Avigdor By Avner and Reli Avrahami W The cast: Shirli (29) and Danielle (8 months). W The home: Old prefab, faded-red asbestos roof, a garden of nasturtiums in front, with a living room/kitchen area and bedroom inside. For a rent of NIS 1,600 a month they get 36 square meters steeped in greenery ("I live for the outside") - and Shosh. Advertisement W Shosh: The landlady. Lives next door, has the voice of Shoshana Damari and makes fig-and-nut strudel. "She is charming," Shirli says. W Midday Friday: The road that winds between the moshavim of Nir Banim, Zarhiya and Shafir is lined with stores and blue-and-white flags. (We got onto the road by taking the wrong exit from the Trans-Israel Highway.) After parking on the limestone road we pass Juan and Joha (a horse and a mule), are rattled by the cry of a peacock and before entering take another look at the verdant grass, the blooming magnolia and at Daffy the dachshund, who approaches hesitantly to check out the guests. W Entering: The living room and kitchen are merged in the rectangular space. The living room contains a sofa, television stand, desk and wicker bookcase. On the carpet are many toys (including the de rigueur "university" from Shilav); on the wall is a poster of Nelson Mandela. Peeking into the kitchen, we see a bag of lahuch on the stainless-steel counter; this spongy Yemenite pita heralds the approach of Shabbat. We head for the bedroom but first pause at the bookcase. W The bookcase: Features (among other works) "Violence Against Women" (by Naomi Gal) and "The Complete Guide to Childcare." On to the bedroom (as promised). W The bedroom: The futon cover, the curtains, the light that shines in through the window - are all shades of orange. Shirli is quick to explain that this is not a protest against the disengagement, which that color has come to symbolize. "I am exactly on the other side," she says. "It's simply a beautiful color, but they wrecked it for us." We sit down to talk, to the sounds of Boaz Mauda (the singer who represented Israel at Eurovision). W A brief history: Shirli is a single mother who has never married. Danielle's father is in the background, but is not involved in raising her. Especially not financially. W Livelihoods and occupations: Shirli works for Amnesty International as a project coordinator in the south of the country. She is in charge of two youth groups that are facilitated by student volunteers. One is in the "unrecognized" Bedouin village of Al-Garin, next to Arad (10 kids, from grades 7-10); the other is in the Hebrew Israelite community in Dimona (five 15-year-olds). Her work, which she usually does from home, includes the recruitment and training of the volunteers. The main idea: "Education for human-rights activism." W Human rights: The rights of children, the rights of women. Shirli: "At first we explain so they will understand, and in the next stage so that they will take action in their community." Her working hours are flexible, the job is part-time ("I decided to 'invest' this year in Danielle"). A condition of the guaranteed-income allocation she receives from National Insurance is that she is not allowed to attend school and therefore cannot complete the degree in communications and journalism that she started at Sapir Academic College, in Sderot. Next year it will be different. Danielle will be in day care and Shirli will leap back into work ("Hopefully at Amnesty, or in a civic organization"). W Her bio: Born 1978, Ashkelon, to native Israeli parents, granddaughter of Yemenites (on her father's side), and of Tunisians and Libyans (on her mother's side). Her father, now retired, served in the Border Police for 23 years; her mother worked for many years in the Erez industrial zone as a secretary in a sewing factory. At one stage, she says, the family had a falafel stand in Ashkelon (Falafel Karavani) with a special recipe ("its secret is in the delicacy") devised by her uncle Hezi. W Bio (cont.): Attended a state-religious elementary school and then the agricultural boarding school in Kfar Silver (external student); recalls her childhood as happy. She was nicknamed the "Bedouin" because she was always barefoot. In high school it took her time to integrate into the world of moshav kids, who were the majority of the students, but in the end she became one of a group that embarked on an unforgettable national service year in the Beit Shemesh area. In the army she was a teaching noncom ("I suffered"), then transferred to the Bedouin tracking unit ("I enjoyed it"). Upon her release she was sent to Chicago as part of a Jewish Agency delegation, as a counselor in Jewish summer camps. At this stage, she says, she underwent a "revolution" in her consciousness. W Revolution: "That was the end of my Zionist period," she explains. She began espousing what she calls "left-wing, cosmopolitan" views after being exposed to facts about the Palestinian situation and socioeconomic reality in Israel. "Israel is racist in its definition as a Jewish state," she avers. "The true lesson of the Holocaust is to disengage from racism so that nothing like that will recur." W Reactions: Her parents, she says, did not take it hard. Her father said, "Do what you want," and her mother "was a Meretz person from way back," after constant friction with Palestinians at the Erez checkpoint. (This week her parents finished a two-year trek of the Israel Trail.) This was not the case with her expanded family, some of whom are evacuees from Gush Katif (the former Jewish settlement bloc in the Gaza Strip). Many of them are very angry at her, though, surprisingly, not to the point of breaking off relations ("There is no way we wouldn't talk; we have excellent relations"). W Tali Fahima: "I don't know her. She got a bit carried away. She paid a condolence visit at the home of a terrorist. Just because I am in favor of a Palestinian state does not mean I am in favor of terrorism. I am against terrorism." W Amnesty: She got the job in 2006 after responding to a newspaper ad. She previously held many jobs in the social-welfare sphere, including at Mahapach ("which works with weakened communities") and at the Mevuot Hanegev educational institution, as a youth counselor on Kibbutz Bror Hayil and with the Karev Foundation. W Bio (cont.): She met Danielle's father, who is from Ashkelon, seven years ago. They dated and broke up, a couple of times. The pregnancy came as a surprise, but Shirli decided to have the baby ("I wasn't capable of killing the infant inside me"). She was prepared for motherhood, she says, even though she thought it would happen a few years later. He did not want to be part of it, and she respected his wish. She knew she would always have the family to support her. Her relations with the father are "excellent," she says, but there is no chance that they will ever get back together. If he will want to become more involved in raising Danielle, she will not stop him. W Daily routine: Shirli gets up around 7, make herself a cup of instant coffee ("one sweetener"), does not put on makeup, breast-feeds Danielle, plays with her, sends e-mails and goes on errands (with Danielle). She has a 1994 Suzuki Swift ("I don't know how many owners there were") and sometimes drives to Tel Aviv. During the day she (usually) meets with her cousin Yehudit, who also has a baby. She skips lunch, though sometimes visits her mom in Ashkelon to eat a good meal ("She is a great cook and is now writing a cookbook"). W Evening: She bathes Danielle around 7 and puts her to sleep, watches a little television ("I only get Channel 2") or is "wiped out" and goes to sleep. They share the same bed. W Books: "My all-time favorite is 'The Life Before Us' by Emile Ajar [pen name of Romain Gary]." She isn't sure she will read the new David Grossman. "It's too hard," she explains, "since I became a mom." W God: She believes ("I am the type who believes in everything, more or less"), but not in reward and punishment, and not in paradise and hell. She views Judaism as her heritage and goes to synagogue on the holy days. W Motherhood and career: "So far, so good. Now, as a mother, I feel happy. I have a reason to get up in the morning." W Single parenthood: "It's a challenge, a challenge to clean the house, a challenge to shop, a challenge even to take a shower, because you always need help." She finds it difficult to imagine anyone being a single parent without help from the family. Now she needs to take a break. W A break: Breast-feeding time. Shirli: "I am actually a substitute pacifier." W Future relationships: "I would like to find someone, but not on the Internet, maybe on a train trip." She assumes he will be a humanistic type, like her. "A feminist," she says, "who will not be my husband per se, but my partner." W Dream: "Peace in the world and for me personally to have a big family." It's important for her that Danielle have siblings. W Israel: "We are a country in a trauma." No, she does not think it would be logical for the country to disarm overnight. "I am not naive. Peace is a slow process that has to come from both sides." She believes that "when people have something to live for, they will not fight." The refugee problem, for example, can be solved by a compromise, she says ("Some will be able to return and some will get compensation"). W Organ donor card: Yes ("Since I got out of the army"). W Goof: "Studying communications." W Nostalgia: "For the period of the national-service group." W Happiness quotient (scale of 1-10): "Most of the time 9." The place Avigdor - Moshav south of Kiryat Malakhi, established in 1950 by British Army veterans, named for the Zionist activist Sir Osmond D'Avigdor-Goldsmid. Bookmark to del.icio.us   A staunch ally Obama to AIPAC: I'll do everything to prevent Iran from obtaining nukes. Pro-Israel Nazis German group condemns anti-Semitism, says Holocaust 'unjustifiable.'

Read & React Obama tells AIPAC: Jerusalem will remain Israel's undivided capital Responses: 90 German neo-Nazis: We're pro-Israel and we condemn anti-Semitism Responses: 75 Olmert: We're close to stopping Iran's nuclear program Responses: 31 U.S. Arabs irate over criticism of celebrity cook's kaffiyeh Responses: 29 Michael Sfard: Is Israel maintaining security in the West Bank or apartheid? Responses: 2 More Headlines 13:56 One person killed, 4 hurt in Negev mortar strike 12:19 Olmert: We're close to stopping Iran's nuclear program 10:07 Obama to AIPAC: Jerusalem will remain Israel's undivided capital 11:56 Interpol suspects Brazilian Jewish community hid rabbi wanted for child abuse 11:08 U.S. Arabs irate over criticism of celebrity cook's kaffiyeh 13:55 Clinton to end presidential run, announce support for Obama 11:48 Secular Israelis wary of impact of non-Jewish olim 03:28 Rosner's Domain / It's Obama's good intentions for Israel that AIPAC fears 12:46 Labor party leaning toward dissolving Knesset in June 12:33 Rights groups ask court to order end to construction on 'private Palestinian land' 11:34 Only 80 yeshiva students opted for national service in past year 08:26 Bnei Brak teens accused of raping younger sisters Previous Editions Select Day 04 jun 03 jun 02 jun 01 jun 30 may 29 may 28 may 27 may 26 may 25 may 23 may 22 may

Special Offers Advertisement Dead Sea Products Buy Dead Sea mineral skin care and beauty products. Coupon code Haaretz for 10% off. Jerusalem of Gold Luxury apartments in Jerusalem's finest location Your vacation starts here Israel Travel Center Guaranteed Lowest Rates Istudy Learn Hebrew in 3 months The Terraces Your Ultimate Coastal Address On Nitza Boulevard, North Netanya Together Celebrating Israel's 60th The Jewish Agency and You - together making history Pardes Institute Summer Sessions http://www.pardes.org.il/ Free the Palestinians from: Corrupt Kleptocracy, Tyrannical Theocracy, Abysmal Anarchy Fattal Hotel Chain Perfectly located hotels on best resorts of Israel. ISRAEL BONDS Build Israel Israel bonds - a multi-purpose way to celebrate Israel's 60th Eldan Rent a Car Israel's leading car rental company offers you a 20% discount on all online reservations Junkyard Junk a car - get free towing nationwide and a tax-deductible receipt

Home | TV | Print Edition | Diplomacy | Opinion | Arts & Leisure | Sports | Jewish World | Underground | Site rules |

Real Estate in Israel | Travel to Israel with Haaretz | Hotels Israel | Restaurants Israel | Tourist attractions Israel | Shops Israel

Haaretz.com, the online edition of Haaretz Newspaper in Israel, offers real-time breaking news, opinions and analysis from Israel and the Middle East. Haaretz.com provides extensive and in-depth coverage of Israel, the Jewish World and the Middle East, including defense, diplomacy, the Arab-Israeli conflict, the peace process, Israeli politics, Jerusalem affairs, international relations, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, the Palestinian Authority, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, the Israeli business world and Jewish life in Israel and the Diaspora.

© Copyright  Haaretz. All rights reserved