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(Illustration by Amos Biderman) Manhattan transfer By Sayed Kashua Tags: Jewish World, Sayed Kashua  I was taken aback at first when I read in the fine print that I'd be staying in an apartment, and not in a hotel, as has always been my habit. As it turns out, the apartment owner is named Saul, his wife is Carol and their last name is Zabar. Two cargo ships pass one another on the Hudson River, a helicopter flies overhead and a few seagulls hover near the riverbank. The sun sets with a bluish-orange hue above the buildings of New Jersey on the other side. This is the view I'm seeing right now as I look out of the apartment I'm staying in in Manhattan. I was taken aback at first when I was given the schedule by the organizers, and I read in the fine print that I'd be staying in an apartment, and not in a hotel, as has always been my habit. "Why an apartment?" I wondered angrily. "Whose apartment is it anyway?" Somehow, I understood that the organizers didn't have enough money to go wasting it on accommodations, and that I'd be staying in the apartment of some Hebrew-speaking Jewish woman whose husband had a store in New York. Great, I'll be staying with the owner of the corner store and his wife. I thought about it for a long time and finally decided to make the trip in spite of this, for art's sake - figuring it would be okay as long as I got a clean bed and a shower, too, hopefully. Just to be on the safe side, I took along some towels from home. When it comes down to it, I can't disappoint the organizers, who are prepared to take food from their kids' mouths in order to bring me to their city and talk with the sons of their homeland. The shop owner's husband is named Saul, his wife is Carol and their last name is Zabar. The apartment is on the Upper West Side, right by the water; it's Carol's studio and not the place where the grocer and his wife live. A modest studio of less than 140 square meters with two enormous rooms outfitted like the most luxurious hotel, and of course, each room has a walk-in closet and full bathroom, and no one else is staying there with me. I'll be there all by myself. "We just thought it would be better than the hotel," the organizer said to me, and she was right - all by myself in an 11th-floor luxury apartment (Incidentally, the daughter of the grocer and his wife sold the apartment on the floor above to Ben Stiller for $10 million). Actually, I won't be completely on my own here. "A cleaning lady comes in every morning," the organizer remembered to tell me. Advertisement "Let's go to my husband's store," Carol said the next morning. Around the corner, on Broadway, the Zabar's empire can be found - a store that takes up half a block and is a venerable New York institution. As soon as I entered, I noticed Jerry Seinfeld, in a red shirt and cap, amid the crowd of customers. "Hey, it's Seinfeld," I said and started to make a beeline for him, but Mrs. Zabar stopped me. "He doesn't like to be bothered." I adjusted pretty quickly to the Upper West Side - I mean, the West Side, that is. The place just fit me like a glove. If I had $5 million, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment. I'd go right out and buy a two-room apartment for me and the whole family. If you think about it, that's a real bargain price now, considering where the dollar's at these days. I heard more Hebrew on the Upper West Side than I do in Jerusalem. Carol and her husband, the veteran businessman, gave me a tour and explained a few facts to me, about New York in general and Manhattan in particular. I was treated to a survey of the businesses in Manhattan and downtown and a little family background about the business owners, who are good friends of the couple. It didn't take long before it dawned on me: New York is the State of the Jews. Ladies and gentlemen, we in Israel are living under an illusion. Not only that, we are basically an illusion. I'm convinced beyond a doubt that Manhattan is the Promised Land and yes, we arrived here after 2,000 years of exile - Israel being no more than a diversionary tactic, and not a very successful one at that, I might add. And the vast majority of the Jews in Manhattan really love Israel. They have arguments here and there, and there is a left wing, and there are a few extremists, but bottom line, they have a really strong feeling for the shop they opened in the Middle East. The terrific thing that happened in the State of the Jews in the past few years is the fact that they discovered that there are also Arab citizens in Israel. That is, they always knew that there were Palestinians and war, but I got the impression that Israel had managed for many years not to inform its owners that there are Arabs inside, in the shop itself. They apparently preferred to hide this defect, because they believed that things were under control and also because they were afraid to feel that someone was there due to failures in managing the business, so they just kept them hidden. Sort of like that whole thing with the cats and Tiv Taam, let's say. So now there are a number of activities organized by Jewish organizations that deal with Arab citizens of Israel. It's a new trend. Just imagine: In New York, there are Jews who are surprised by the fact that there are Arabs who speak Arabic. That's more attractive than horses that speak the language. As Dean Abdullah, an Arab comedian in New York, put it: "Being an Arab is exotic. Like kiwi - it's sweet and tasty and a little hairy." Everyone is concerned with identity, everyone projects their problems onto the Arab who lives in Israel. Everyone is searching for a sense of belonging, of substance, of self-definition. Not only Jews. Also some Palestinian friends that I met - okay, they don't live in Manhattan, but in the less prestigious Brooklyn. But like the Jews, they're relentlessly preoccupied with identity, everyone's trying to understand what's happening to the world, everyone wants to save the world, to prevent injustice, to feed the hungry, everyone wants to organize, to unite, to be strong, everyone wants human rights, civil rights, freedom of speech, democracy, equality. Everyone is talking about oil, weapons, nuclear power, corrupt leaders, useless wars and financial interests. "In the end," I said as I concluded another lecture about identity, "your identity is your bank account." My listeners were left gaping in disbelief. They brought an Arab all this way from the warehouse in Israel and now he goes spouting pointless nonsense. I have to admit that I got fed up pretty quickly with all the conversations and arguments of the people in New York. I realized very fast that this mess was not for me. I'm not cut out for such struggles, I don't want to hear the words belonging, identity, nationalism or religiosity anymore. I'm tired of being around people who bicker constantly over nothing. I can't wait to get back to Israel, to get home and finally enjoy a little quiet. Bookmark to del.icio.us   'The Mossad dove' Official Syrian state paper says Livni can have peace if she desires it. Abbas the columnist PA Chief: History will judge none of us kindly if we squander chance for peace.   1.   Homeland 17:25  |  Me 27/05/08   2.   Where`s Finkelstein when needed? 16:33  |  Rob of melbourne 28/05/08   3.   i love u sayed! 19:34  |  tali 28/05/08

Read & React Olmert hands in his formal resignation to President Peres Responses: 58 Report: Palestinian woman dies after shoved to the ground by IDF troops Responses: 132 Hamas accuses Israel of back-pedaling in Shalit negotiations Responses: 109 Ex-IDF chief: Military confrontation with Iran is unavoidable Responses: 83 Yossi Sarid: Economic crisis forces us to rethink 'American dream' Responses: 84 More Headlines 20:45 Olmert formally submits his resignation to Peres 10:18 PA chief of staff: We must be ready to retake Hamas-ruled Gaza by force 16:13 Ex-IDF chief: Israel can't avoid a military confrontation with Iran 19:30 Netanyahu asks Shas to back bid for early general elections 08:20 ANALYSIS / Even Assad has a better opinion of Livni than Barak 10:10 Report: Palestinian woman dies after shoved to the ground by IDF troops 12:49 Calcutta's dwindling Jewish community has one last guardian 19:39 Three school children injured after awning collapses 08:30 Labor sources: Barak seeks early general elections 17:07 Now Israel's most beautiful sites can be visited in New York 18:51 Man traumatized by Gaza evacuation gets lenient sentence for stabbing wife 16:11 DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, in critical condition after plane crash 05:17 Yad Vashem to honor unheralded Holocaust hero 16:41 Haniyeh: Hamas is creating a new history 17:38 U.S. security officials: Pakistan hotel bombing shows signs of al-Qaida Previous Editions Select Day 19 sep 18 sep 17 sep 16 sep 15 sep 14 sep 12 sep 11 sep 10 sep 09 sep 08 sep 07 sep

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