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Family Affair / The Athamnas By Avner & Reli Avrahami Baka al-Garbiyeh Advertisement W The cast: Said (38), Hanifa (24) and Nabil (11 months). W Baka: From the main street, turn into the alley between Abu Karwiya's vegetable store and Anwar Makalaba's electrical-goods shop, then follow the winding road up until you reach a dead-end street. The house is on the left. W The house: Palatial. A boulevard of Doric columns leads to a heavy, church-like wooden door, four meters high (at least). Hanifa is waiting in front of the large white structure, built of cut stone. Said will arrive later. We enter the marble sitting room, which also incorporates the kitchen (from a Hadera showroom) and a dining area with a long table. Later we will go up to a foyer, which accesses a number of rooms that are at present empty. W Empty: Not exactly. There is a bedroom with a four-poster bed and a bathroom with a Jacuzzi - and their day will come. We continue on the ground floor, which also contains a room for the whole family and an exit to the backyard (and also to the garage, and a stairway leading down to the shelter). In the living room, opposite the soft gray sofas (from the Kibbutz Ga'ash shopping center), is a fireplace and a grandfather clock. Adjacent is a heavy desk on which there is a laptop; this is where Said usually sits when he works from home. He moved the desk to the living room after he did away with the study and replaced it with the bedroom. The spacious (400-square-meter) structure affords comfortable living on the ground floor alone, at least in the present family composition. W Livelihoods and occupations: Hanifa, a graduate of Ben-Gurion University (BGU) in Be'er Sheva in laboratory medical sciences ("a laboratory specialist with an academic background"), works a five-day week in the district laboratory of the Clalit health maintenance organization in Nesher, a Haifa suburb ("with Friday duty once a month"); she travels back and forth in a 2007 Toyota RAV4 ("45 minutes each way"). She specializes in "coagulation tests" (blood), provides services to residents of the Western Galilee and Haifa, and is also studying life sciences at Bar-Ilan University in Ramat Gan, though at the moment (since giving birth) she is on a kind of time-out. She will resume her studies in September, with the aim of eventually obtaining a Ph.D. and perhaps managing a laboratory ("possibly a private one"). Besides all that she is taking ("for the fun of it") a pastry-making course in Tel Aviv. W Said: A dentist with a private clinic in Hadera, he does implants and maxillofacial rehabilitation, working a five-day week (split shifts); he travels back and forth in a Mazda Lantis. He has patients from all over the country ("even from Arad") and offers good prices ("a third of what you pay in Tel Aviv"). W Nabil: Spends his days in the infants' house in neighboring Kibbutz Metzer ("six minutes away") for NIS 2,400 a month. Hanifa takes him and picks him up ("Said is exempt"); if needed, she gets extra hours of care via kibbutz babysitters. The kibbutz setup is perfect for a career-oriented mother, she says, adding that she is pleased by the treatment Nabil gets ("very warm and loving"). W Hanifa's bio: Born in Baka al-Garbiyeh, 1983, the youngest of four children. Her father, Jalal Abu Touameh, who died two years ago (at the age of 59), was the head of the local council ("He introduced a young people's revolution"). W Famous dad: "We grew up in a very modest home and did not take advantage of our status." When she, following her brothers, decided to study outside Baka, the family was subjected to criticism, "but Dad supported our freedom of choice." At the end of his last term (1997), her father retired to the family olive grove - but, according to Hanifa, "a healthy life produces quality of life, but does not extend life." W Youth: Elementary school in Baka, high school in Hadera. At 17 she took part in a Jewish-Arab summer camp in the United States, whose theme was conflict resolution ("There were also English and Irish kids"). Her return home coincided with the start of the intifada ("It was hard for me, after having engaged in coexistence"). W Bio (cont.): After high school she enrolled at BGU, rooming with three American girls (who were on a student-exchange program) in a lower-class Be'er Sheva neighborhood. One of the Americans fasted during Ramadan, because her husband was Muslim. W Ramadan: "I fasted, too," she says. Still, Hanifa does not describe herself as religious, and does not pray ("Baka did not undergo radicalization"). W Be'er Sheva: "The world is divided into two: those who like Be'er Sheva and those who do not. I liked it." W Additional biographical detail: Between sixth and 11th grades she was a member of the Baka swimming team and twice won the Arab-sector title in the 100-meter crawl and butterfly. W Said's bio: Born in Baka al-Garbiyeh in 1969 ("I'm a Scorpio"). He has a twin sister and nine other siblings ("We are the youngest"). His father has a store that sells construction materials; his mother died nine years ago. His extended family (Athamna) numbers more than 1,000 people, all in Baka. He attended elementary school in Baka, high school in Tira, worked with his father in the business ("I did 'army service' under him"), and when the dilemma arose - to stay (and manage the business) or to study - he chose the latter. W The latter: He went to Frankfurt, took a course in German and studied dentistry at Goethe University ("in a faculty that was established by the Rothschild family"). He concluded his studies in 1997, specialized in maxillofacial dentistry, returned home in 2000, passed the Health Ministry exam, returned to Germany, and eventually came home again under parental pressure. After working briefly in a local clinic ("for my brother Fahim"), he opened his own clinic in Hadera. He started building the house in 2002 ("It's hard to ask for a woman's hand without a house"). W The house: The land belongs to the family, construction (two and a half years) was by his contractor brother Walid (whose home is adjacent). The design was by Mohammed Nashaf, an architect and friend from Taibeh. The style is European, Said says: "At first I built arches, but I removed them" - apart from the entrance, "where my patience ran out." W Patience: The building project not only cost him money (he won't say how much), but also much time and energy. Among other things, he went to Jordan to check out styles of building and went to see the work of different stonemasons in the West Bank. In the end, the stone came from Yamoun, near Jenin ("A house like this needs a quarry"). W In retrospect: "I was young and crazy. Today I would never consider building a house like this. I would build more modestly - something rural and nostalgic." W The meeting: "In the classic way" (Said). When he got back from Germany the family pestered him to marry. As a highly eligible bachelor he suffered from harassment ("I left weddings after 10 minutes"), until he was told about Hanifa. When he saw her he knew immediately that she would be the one. Said: "I went to an interview by her father and was accepted." They dated, became engaged, she started university, they postponed the wedding three times ("because of deaths"), and there were ups and downs in the relationship, but in the end it happened. W The wedding: 2004, Kochav Hayam, Caesarea, 200 couples ("reduced from an original 800"). Those who weren't invited attended the henna ceremony. A year and a half earlier, a religious ceremony (fatha) took place with a kadi. W Ring: "To this day he hasn't bought me one - put that in the paper." W Household chores: Hanifa is exclusively responsible for cooking and housecleaning (with the aid of a cleaning woman once a week). She cooks spaghetti, ravioli, Thai and Chinese food, Arab salad, and labaneh with za'atar. "I am not a feminist," she says (Said also thinks she is). She is not after total equality, she says: "It's enough that I make him responsible for being the provider." W Daily routine: Hanifa's day starts at 5:30 with bathing, makeup, rouge and mascara; she does not use lipstick. After getting Nabil ready for his day (wake-up, bottle), taking him to the kibbutz and going on to Nesher, she calls home to wake Said. It's 8 A.M. It takes him a quarter of an hour to shower and have a cup of coffee (Elite), before heading out to the center for a second cup. He reaches the clinic at about 9. For lunch he orders schnitzel in a baguette from Tziki in the mall, or eats at Opera (a restaurant). Hanifa eats with the lab girls in the HMO dining space. She is at the kibbutz at 4:50 and home with Nabil 25 minutes later. W Evening: Nabil goes to bed at 8, Said gets home nearly an hour later. Hanifa serves supper ("always a hot meal"), which they eat together. Their day ends at 10:30. Nabil wakes up twice during the night ("We both get up"). W Dreams: Said - to establish a farm-ranch kind of community for the whole family. That will not happen in Israel, he says - maybe in Spain, maybe in Morocco. Hanifa agrees with him. W Television: Hanifa - "Survival." W Books: They like Sayed Kashua. W Romance: "Pillow talk at the end of the day" (Hanifa); "Marienplatz, Munich" (Said). W Israel: "We have become part of the state and we are in a struggle for our civil rights" (Hanifa). W Palestinians: "We identify with their suffering, but we do not live it" (Hanifa). W Peace: Said is pessimistic; Hanifa optimistic ("In the end it will come"). W Happiness quotient (scale of 1-10): Hanifa - 8, Said - 4. The place Baka al-Garbiyeh - East of Hadera, part of the city of Baka-Jatt (population: 32,000), which was created by the unification of the two villages in 2003. In 1949, the village of Baka was split in two: into al-Garbiyeh and al-Sharkiyeh (in the West Bank). The separation fence now divides them. Bookmark to del.icio.us   Stronger than its ills The 60th anniversary celebrations are accompanied by a bad taste. Rise in racism Israeli Arabs say institutionalized racism has increased.

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