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The play's the thing - but which play was it? By Michael Handelzalts Tags: london, benjamin netanyahu  Almost two weeks have passed since it was exposed, and the affair of Benjamin Netanyahu's costly visit to London in August 2006 is slowly sinking into oblivion. The opposition chair spared no effort during the visit to explain Israel's policy during the Second Lebanon War; part of the visit was paid for by local millionaire Joshua Rowe, part by Israel Bonds; Netanyahu paid for his personal expenses out of his own pocket; the Knesset Ethics Committee will probably retroactively approve Sara Netanyahu's joining her husband on his public relations mission; the Connaught Hotel at which they stayed billed Netanyahu twice for a visit to the theater, which cost not NIS 11,000, but only NIS 5,500. Here arises a question of great importance, which has yet to be asked: Which play did Benjamin Netanyahu, his wife, their son and a classified (for security reasons) number of bodyguards see? That question is likely to matter to voters during the next elections. Netanyahu does not often attend the theater in Israel, and therefore his taste on this matter could reveal something personal about the prime ministerial candidate, something that goes beyond the political-media spin. What did he choose to see on his only free evening in London, in order to be diverted from the burden of the public relations campaign, or to be enlightened by the quality of the theater considered one of the finest in the world? I asked his spokesman, Ofir Akunis, and he promised to find out, although he expressed doubt as to whether Netanyahu would remember. I argued that since it was nevertheless an uncommon event, a family visit to the London theater, maybe he does remember. Advertisement In our next conversation, Akunis said he still had to clarify something and would get back to me. When I phoned him again, he said that Netanyahu did not remember which play he saw. I usually believe every word of Netanyahu's, but I have trouble believing this memory lapse. Could the play in London really have left so little an impression? I got down to work and checked what was showing in London during the first 10 days of August 2006. And let me tell you, the Netanyahus were fortunate: They had a wonderful choice of plays. First and foremost is the musical theater (after all, they were with their son, and you also have to consider the bodyguards, for whom this visit was compulsory; why shouldn't they have some fun?). There were no fewer than 17 musicals and musical shows playing, of all types and for every taste. The most expensive tickets to these productions (according to the Web sites) are 60 pounds sterling; in order to spend more than 700 pounds sterling (NIS 5,500 shekels, based on a generous exchange rate of 8 shekels per pound sterling), apparently six or seven bodyguards accompanied the family. As we know, the tickets were bought through the hotel. After all, we cannot expect one of our outstanding boys from the Dignitary Protection Unit to stand in line at the half-price box office on Leicester Square. Of course, one can order the tickets by phone and pay by credit card; but then the question is whose credit card, and you have to come to the box office on the evening of the play with the credit card. So apparently there was no choice but to use the hotel's services, and had I been in Netanyahu's place, I would have protested against their exorbitant service charge. Their choice of musicals that week included: "Les Miserables," "The Producers," "Chicago," "Guys and Dolls," "Mary Poppins," "Avenue Q," "Blood Brothers," "The Lion King," "Billy Elliot - the Musical," two shows based on the music of Frank Sinatra, "Mamma Mia," (based on the songs of ABBA), "We Will Rock You" (based on the songs of Queen), "Stomp," "Dancing in the Streets," "Footloose - the Musical," "Brasil Brasileiro," and even a musical with an enlightening political message, "Evita." I hope I've succeeded in refreshing their memories. It turns out that I have, to some extent. Netanyahu's assistants admit (according to an article by Yossi Verter, published March 21 in Haaretz), that it was actually a mistake to attend the theater during a week when soldiers and civilians were being killed in Israel. They do, however, remember that it was not a musical, but a serious play. It's possible the Netanyahus went to the restored Globe Theater in order to see Shakespeare, as it was performed in the Bard's time. There the (very) cheap places are for standing, and the seats are very uncomfortable. But the August 2006 repertoire was worthwhile: "Titus Adronicus" (a ruler who sacrifices his sons, surrenders to a cruel queen and is forced to eat his sons' flesh), "Antony and Cleopatra" (a ruler and general who loses his head because of a woman), "Coriolanus" (a general who doesn't know how to be a politician and ask for votes, and in the end betrays his nation), as well as "A Comedy of Errors." I assume that the Netanyahus did not go to the Fringe, or to the Royal Court to see "Sugar Mummies," a play about white female tourists searching for sex in the Caribbean. At the National Theater, they could have seen Simon Russell Beale appearing in Brecht's "The Life of Galileo," a play about government, religion and science; or an American play about genocide in Rwanda (which was recently read in Israel at an evening about political drama sponsored by Habima and the British National Theater). And what opportunity did they have to see great actors? Judi Dench in "Hay Fever" by Noel Coward, Derek Jacobi in "Voyage Around My Father" by John Mortimer, and Tom Conti in "Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell" (about an alcoholic journalist). And the Royal Shakespeare Company was performing an adaptation of "Canterbury Tales." They don't remember any of that? Is it possible that they only bought tickets and didn't go? Maybe they went to something forgettable, like "Babe the Sheep Pig" at Regents Park Open Air Theatre, the film about a piglet that was adapted into a play. Or perhaps they went to see the Bolshoi on a historic visit at the Royal Opera Hall. Those tickets do cost a bundle. I return to the price of the tickets, because there's an interesting issue here. If Netanyahu and his family (and the bodyguards) saw a play by Shakespeare or Brecht, or political theater, maybe the government really should pay for it, because it is an enriching cultural experience that could contribute to the quality of government. On the other hand, if they went to see theater as entertainment, these are definitely personal expenses, which Netanyahu paid for out of his own pocket. But in that case, who paid for the bodyguards' tickets? They are on duty, after all, even when he is enjoying himself. But if, with all these offerings, he doesn't recall what he saw, then it really was a waste of money, either his or the government's. Incidentally, it's a shame that they were in London only at the beginning of August. Had they stayed a little longer they could have seen "Frost/Nixon," a play by Peter Morgan that reconstructs the interview in which the deposed president Nixon admitted to journalist David Frost that during his presidency he considered himself above the law. We can assume that Netanyahu would have remembered that one. Bookmark to del.icio.us   WHO knows? The WHO says Israel lets Gazans die in 'avoidable tragedies'. Friendly faces Google, Facebook and Yahoo heads will attend a J'lem technology summit.   1.   Tnere is a show about Palestinians in London called ABBAS 02:34  |  Yaakov Sullivan 24/03/08   2.   The play`s the thiong 03:19  |  Mickey 24/03/08   3.   ridiculous 10:25  |  David 24/03/08   4.   No. 3 - ridiculous 11:17  |  roslyn Steinberg 24/03/08

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