Fast fictions - Haaretz

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Thu., September 27, 2007 ,

Israel Time: 22:37 (EST+7)

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Fast fictions

By Yedidya Meir

Every year during this season I am surprised anew to discover the major differences between the results of the private survey I conduct and the results arrived at by professional pollsters on exactly the same subject. Every Passover eve the public-opinion institutes report on a very high percentage of Israelis who declare that they will not go near anything leavened, not even a pita from the freezer, and an even higher percentage assert that they intend to fast on Yom Kippur once again. But my poll comes up with very different findings.

Take, for example, Yom Kippur. The question that the pollsters of Yedidya Cartographics asked was, "Do you fast on Yom Kippur and/or attend a synagogue of some kind on the holy day? Be explicit."

Here are the non-professional results. Dana is in Sinai. Like every year. She simply can't abide the atmosphere of Yom Kippur here, so she goes down there for a day and a half - it's already a tradition. Liat would be happy to escape, only she gave birth recently, so she will stay home and feed sweet Goni quietly. Fast? You must be joking. Shiri and Guy are actually staying in the country, but have no intention of going to synagogue.

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Ronny is in Tel Aviv, as he is every year, because he loves Yom Kippur in the city; there is the thrilling and traditional holiday-eve event that he would never miss. The "Kol Nidrei" service? What service? He's talking about the annual encounter with all of Tel Aviv's high-school graduates on the Hayarkon bridge. He report that it is a spiritual experience. Maya, in contrast, is staying in the city, but won't divulge her schedule for the day for fear I will stone her. And Rumi simply flew off to Thailand as soon as the blessing was recited for the month of Elul. She doesn't want to hear about the holiday season. Not Yom Kippur, not Rosh Hashanah - she can't even stand Sukkot. She will be back right after Tishrei, or September, as she calls it.

The bottom line is that 100 percent of my non-religious friends did not fast on Yom Kippur. Let alone go to synagogue. Trying to make sense of the constant disparity between me and pollster Mina Tzemach (62 percent fast, 73 percent don't eat unleavened), I reach an interesting conclusion: I don't know who Mina talks to, but all my interviewees work in the media. Producers, researchers, editors, deputy editors, assistant producers, correspondents, anchormen. Their names appear in the credits that roll by at the end of TV programs. They all surf "Ice" and "Walla branja" - the media industry Web sites - on a daily basis. Most of them know Dvorit Shargal, the former "Velvet Underground" blogger, personally.

I don't know the legal, accountancy or glazier industries. I have the feeling that the situation in them is different. But what is worrisome is that my industry influences the whole country; it shapes this holiday and all the other holidays, and in this sense is in a league of its own in terms of preserving tradition. A real Neturei Karta. Every year it's the same cliches, the same bland coverage with orthodox zealotry.

Rosh Hashanah, the editors say? We'll do a project of new beginnings: Harel Moyal on his new album, Gadi Sukenik on his new life and Michal Yanai in a roiling interview about how hard it is to start over. Yom Kippur? A forgiveness project: Datz asks forgiveness from Datza, Rita from Rami and Michal Yanai writes about the forgiveness in her life. Hanukkah? How not to quarrel with the mother-in-law, how to keep your figure, and for the first time Michal Yanai talks about a holiday without the children's "Festigals." Shavuot is by now completely the holiday of the shareholders of the dairy company Tnuva, and even Ruth the Moabite interests us only if she cottons to cottage cheese. It's the holidays in the spirit of the cheesecake heritage.

You read the paper and have the feeling that something doesn't make sense here. It can't be that this nation is so cut off. That this is the stuff it is being fed about its holy days. And a second later you realize that it's not the nation that is cut off, only its opinion-molders.

This year though, with at least one holy occasion, Rosh Hashanah, everything changed. Suddenly the newspapers discovered prayer, the shofar, the tashlich ceremony of casting one's sins into the water, the deep meaning of this day. How? Nu - Madonna taught them. She told the reporters why she was visiting Israel just at this time. She explained the essence of the holiday, its meaning. For out of David International shall come forth Torah.

So, be well, Madonna. Thanks for coming. You're the only one who reminds us that we are a special people, that we are a lot more than recipes for honey cake. It was wonderful, though a bit short. Why didn't you stay for the Ten Days of Penitence? What's your hurry? If only you had stayed a bit longer, maybe someone here would know what Hoshana Rabba is.

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