That's it. I can't go on living like this any longer. I've thought about it for a long time and reached the conclusion that it's just impossible. This mutation known as an Israeli Arab has to become extinct. It's out of the question to watch the team whose passport you carry, cheer for the opponents, and also hope that Badir will score five goals. This is not a healthy situation, and by now I'm at the age where health is my main concern.

On top of which, for a long time I have been aware that I'm betting on the wrong horse. True, for now Israel is a better place to live, but the way things look all around, with the Israeli stubbornness, the hopelessness of peace and the American plans for the Middle East, I'm quite convinced that in the long term you're better off on the Arab side. Now don't get me wrong: I want the country to last forever, but the fact is that since the Second Lebanon War it's looking more temporary than ever. That has nothing to do with who won and who lost; it has to do more with image and the direction the country is moving in, which cries out isolation, fences, walls and towers and deterrent strength. That can't last: it never has.

There's no time to lose. If I had enough money and stocks and didn't have fear of flying and of sailing, I would pack my stuff first thing in the morning and look for a haven far from the Middle East. But the phobias and the economic situation leave me no choice but to look for an alternative escape, by land. I weighed everything thoroughly and decided that immediate action is needed. I picked up the phone.