After the installation of the Palestinian unity government, I noticed a dramatic shift in the Hamas leadership. The new-old prime minister, Haniyeh....

Yes, what about him? Has he softened his stance? Is he ready for a referendum in the event of a peace agreement with Israel? Is he ready to recognize Israel's right to exist inside the borders of Tel Aviv's Atarim Square, and even that only for ten years?

No. He put on weight.

	Advertisement

Excuse me?

He put on weight. A lot. Physically. In fact, he grew to vast dimensions. Both lengthwise and widthwise. We knew him as a regular guy, but of late he's looking awesomely large. He dwarfs Abu Mazen, and in fact everyone looks like a grasshopper compared to him.

So? What's the question?

So what's it all about? What's going on here?

Oh, it's nothing. A completely normal development. Every Arab leader Israel tries to dwarf inflates like Eddie Murphy in "The Nutty Professor" on steroids. If he is not liquidated physically, his image gradually assumes tremendous heft in the Arab world and in fact everywhere. Look what happened to Arafat, to Nasrallah. What doesn't kill them, inflates and expands them. If not physically, then conceptually and politically.

Maybe it's body armor?

Nonsense. You can't wear body armor in Gaza. It's crowded enough without that. You can't even whip out a submachine gun without taking out someone's eye with your elbow. No, it's simple: the moment Israel gets you in its sights, it's like you were given a growth hormone.

If that's the case, is there any chance of growth for our small friend, Ahmadinejad?

Time will tell, especially if we go on trying to dwarf him. But you have to understand: This phenomenon applies not only to people but also to parties, states and organizations in the Arab world. Where did the PLO, Hezbollah and Hamas spring from? Runty organizations that grew into prodigious monsters only because Israel decided to kick them back to the Stone Age, even to boycott them if there was no other choice.

"Even"?

My friend, you have no idea how powerful the notion of herem, a ban, is in Judaism. It's so drastic a punishment that it has been applied only rarely: "And he shall be accursed by Adiriron and Akhtriel, and by Sandalfon and Hadraniel.... And they shall be swallowed up like Korah and his company, in dismay and haste shall his soul go out... and he shall be strangled as Ahitofel with his advice." Unfortunately, we have been compelled to invoke this punishment against the Palestinians and their leaders on more than one occasion, when military blows did not aid the educational process. It's only a pity that, as gentiles, they had never heard about the power of the herem. Well, that's how it is. Voodoo, too, works only if you think it's true.

Maybe it's just the opposite - the more we boycott them, the more we are boycotted by the whole world.

I wouldn't say "the whole world." True, there is a leak in the dam we are trying to build around the Palestinian government since Hamas seized control of it, but in the meantime only a handful of countries have defected: Norway. Spain. Maybe Italy. A bit Europe Shmeurope, South America, Russia, parts of America. That's all. But I am not worried: we are not alone.

Who else is with us?

Micronesia, the Makoya [a Japanese sect with strong ties to Israel], the Anti-Defamation League and Zubin Mehta. By the way, I'm not surprised about Norway. What can you expect from a country that gave the world Grieg, Ibsen and Munch's "The Scream"? They will never understand PAP.

PAP?

Passive-aggressive, Polish style. The encapsulation of Israeli policy across the generations.

Meaning?

Meaning: anxiety in Jerusalem, concern for Jerusalem, boycott, long silences, being insulted, getting angry, historic account-settling, expectation that the other side will undergo a learning process solely by guessing our thoughts even without our saying anything, will be conceptually shaken by our silence alone. No, an outsider wouldn't get it, certainly not some Scandinavian Viking.

Let's say I do understand. Can you give me an example of PAP in action?

A small example from just now: the Palestinians, after months-long Herculean efforts that included civil war, established a unity government solely to remove the economic noose from around their necks, and with the intention of finding some way to talk with Israel. Their chairman, hanging by a thread, begs for talks with Israel, which will also preserve his status. True, Hamas is not talking about peace with Israel, but it is ready to give Abu Mazen a free hand and put any agreement to a referendum. And how do we respond? With a huff and a boycott.

Because of terrorism? Because of their non-recognition of Israel?

In part. Also because they refused to deliver a pair of eyeglasses to the abducted soldier. It just goes to show. With characters like that, can you talk peace? So, thank you very much. We will sit here alone in the dark and wait until the Palestinian nation becomes a mentsch. We will remain silent until they explode, in every sense.

And what about the Saudi initiative, for example?

Sorry, I didn't catch that. I was in mid-yawn.

The Saudi initiative - what about it?

Ah. We got a notice to pick it up from the post office, registered mail. When we can.

In other words, we have returned to the familiar and beloved Hebrew posture. As though we had been waiting for it all along. Not convergence but truculence, and without removing even one little outpost.

Listen, what other choice is there? There's no one to talk to and nothing to talk about. The fact is that already on the second day of their new government they fired a few Qassam rockets and set off an exchange of fire at Karni, for which Hamas claimed responsibility. Which just goes to show.

Show what? Even when there is no terrorism we wait idly for some act of violence so we can say, It just goes to show, and so on and so forth.

Moreover, to quote military analyst Roni Daniel this week: "The word in the IDF is that we just have to wait and look for an excuse for a military confrontation in the Gaza Strip."

So?

So we wait. We wait until a leader with a relatively secular viewpoint comes forward, with a realistic political orientation, who at least will talk to us in terms of realpolitik.

There already was one - Abu Mazen.

He doesn't count. Too weak. Like a newborn babe.

There was Arafat.

Too wacky. Hair on the face.

Barghouti?

A good-for-nothing. And our friend Rajoub has also totally freaked out - he turned pro-Palestinian.

So maybe, if you'll forgive the expression, maybe Haniyeh?

Come off it - too fat.