This week's Torah reading introduces us to the maze of relations that constitutes the foundation of the Jewish People. The maze is created when Jacob flees his brother Esau, seeking refuge in their uncle Laban's home. Beside a well, Jacob meets his beloved: "And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother" (Genesis 29:10).

The act of removing the stone from the well's opening symbolizes the power of love, which enables us to overcome every obstacle, physical or spiritual. When Rachel's father, Laban, tells Jacob he must work seven years in order to marry her, Jacob is so much in love that he is unaware of time's passage: "And they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her" (Gen. 29:20).

To help us understand the Jacob-Leah-Rachel love triangle, the Torah compares the two sisters: "Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favored" (Gen. 29:17). Jacob's love for Rachel seemingly contradicts Proverbs (31:30): "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain." This love is strongly tied to Rachel's physical beauty. In contrast, Jacob's marriage to Leah is forced upon him by her father. Jacob did not want to marry her and when he discovers the deception, he angrily confronts Laban: "Wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?" (Gen. 29:25) Nevertheless, Jacob grows accustomed to the love triangle forced upon him. He continues to love Rachel, yet he builds a home with Leah.

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The names Leah gives her children reflect her desire to repair and reinforce her relationship with Jacob, who is madly in love with her sister: "And she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the Lord hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me" (Gen. 29:32); "and [she] said, Because the Lord hath heard that I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon" (29:33); "and [she] said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi" (29:34).

What enormous emotional powers Leah must mobilize to overcome the immense gap separating her from her beautiful sister! She works diligently to build her home, ultimately reaching the point where she has achieved a conciliation with Jacob and can thank God: "And she said, Now will I praise the Lord: therefore she called his name Judah" (Gen. 29:35). Does Jacob provide a loving response to Leah's conciliatory moves? Ehud Manor gives an affirmative answer to this question in his song about Leah: "Many days have passed, my two hands have wearied, and your eyes have grown beautiful, like Rachel's. Leah, I love you and your pride. If I forget you, my name is not Israel."

Rachel, the beautiful but barren wife, is distraught: "And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die. And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?" (Gen. 30:1-2).

What a dreadful reaction! Is that how a husband should respond to his barren beloved's distress? Has not love the power to arouse compassion in Jacob's heart for Rachel's pain? Did he love her only for her physical beauty, which has faded with time? Has his love similarly withered? A superficial glance at the text seemingly warrants that interpretation - yet, we must remember the verse where Jacob recalls his love for Rachel. On his deathbed, as he blesses the sons of Joseph, Rachel's eldest, he says: "And as for me, when I came from Padan, Rachel died by me in the land of Canaan in the way, when yet there was but a little way to come unto Ephrath: and I buried her there" (Gen. 48:7). The longing for his beloved is clear here. His love for her was indeed profound, and throughout Jewish history, Rachel has symbolized longing, hope and love. Jeremiah (31:15) depicts Rachel as a mother who weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted.

Double vision

Although he longs for Rachel, Jacob commands his sons to bury him in Hebron beside Leah: "And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite ... There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife; there they buried Isaac and Rebecca his wife; and there I buried Leah" (Gen. 49:29-31). Jacob teaches us that the foundations of a family must be deep commitment and responsibility - not emotions, dreams and imagination.

When Boaz marries Ruth, Bethlehem's inhabitants bestow upon him the blessing traditionally given to all Jewish couples: "The Lord make the woman that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build the house of Israel" (Ruth 4:11). This blessing conveys the message that romantic love must be combined with the stability and security of the family and its routine way of life. Rachel and Leah together constitute the vision of the Jewish home. The triangle evolves into a couple who build a relationship that combines passionate but evanescent love with delicate, but profound, affection.

In today's society, the family structure is threatened. Many families break up because of an excessive expectation of unending romantic love and a concomitant lack of preparedness for a routine family life. In a song called "An Aroma of Brandy and Gitanes Cigarettes" (in Hebrew; music by Yehudit Ravitz), Astar Shamir expresses the pursuit of fantasies that can destroy a family: "Suddenly, you feel you must abandon everything. 'They'll get along, / they don't need me, the children are all grown up,' you tell yourself. / For whom, for what, are you fleeing routine, escaping your sardine tin? You're still beautiful."

It is embarrassing how simple this truth is. Nonetheless, many people disappear into the clouds of empty dreams. The blessing that pairs Rachel with Leah becomes the great hope that Jewish couples will successfully blend the desire for eternal love with the power of the secure, solid home and family.