The plan to hold a gay pride parade in Jerusalem next week has stirred a debate within the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community as well. The majority is in favor of holding the parade. The media is also leaning in this direction. The supporters speak about the democratic right of every person to march proudly in any place, hoisting the flag of liberty. This argument is correct, but at any price?

In 1993, I came out of the closet. I took off my army uniform, left the conservative religious home of my parents and began a new life. I left a place where the word "gay" sparked revulsion and entered a world where I was a free person. I had not believed such a place existed. Tel Aviv in the early 1990s was a place where homosexuality received legitimacy. The gay and lesbian community was beginning to flourish. While this phenomenon had almost never been mentioned beforehand, and those who represented it in the media had been regarded as objects of ridicule, a new mood suddenly began to resonate.

I will never forget my first gay pride parade. Hundreds of people gathered in Malchei Yisrael Square (now Rabin Square) and began hesitantly winding their way down Ben-Gurion Boulevard. People cheered us from the balconies of the houses. We felt excitement, pride, liberation. We felt we were surrounded by tolerance.

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As the years passed, the parade lost something of its pride and took on more of a carnival atmosphere, as people began wearing less and behaving provocatively. An exhibition of pride turned into an exhibition of foolishness. People began to feel the parade was missing its true objective and that its message had been lost. In addition, most of my friends and I felt legitimacy had already been attained and that there was nothing left to fight for. We stopped participating.

A gay pride parade has been held in Jerusalem for about four years. Last year, the event culminated in the stabbing of one of the participants. The organizers have promised that this year's parade will be larger, while on the other side, opponents have promised a large protest. Despite the organizers' declarations that the parade will be dignified and devoid of provocations, and will not enter religious neighborhoods, they still need to address the fact that Jerusalem is not a regular, liberal city like Tel Aviv, but rather one holy to three religions. The organizers must ask themselves whether their objective is also sacred - or whether it amounts to provocation. For example, many members of the community belong to the peace camp, and minority rights are dear to their hearts. They must consider the fact that the parade will disturb not only ultra-Orthodox Jews but also Muslims and Christians.

In 2000, an international gay pride parade was held in Rome. The parade route passed not far from the Vatican, stirring a great tumult in the Christian world. The organizers of the Rome march (including the chairman of the Jewish community, Amos Luzzato) also based their arguments on the principles of democracy and freedom of expression. The parade took place without casualties, but it could have ended differently.

It would be irresponsible to hold the parade in Jerusalem in spite of the huge resources required to provide security and the danger of bloodshed. It is essential to protect democracy, but this must be done in a way that shows sensitivity to others, not at any price. Last September, the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten published caricatures of the prophet Mohammed that raised a storm in the Muslim world. A Danish court ruled that the newspaper was entitled, under freedom of expression, to publish the caricatures. Nonetheless, the question remains of whether it would not have been preferable to show a little sensitivity and refrain from publishing them.

The principles of democracy and pluralism must be upheld along with tolerance and sensitivity toward other religions and minorities. It is permissible and necessary to express a position, but only while maintaining respect for others. Tolerance is obtained through tolerance. We must show tolerance for other religions. If not, how can we, the gay and lesbian community, expect others to display tolerance toward us? Followers of three different religions fear the desecration of the city's holiness, just as we are fearful about our rights. Brothers and sisters, let us hold the parade in Tel Aviv, our home, in a place where we will receive legitimacy and calls of support rather than rotten eggs. For the sake of quiet. For the sake of mutual tolerance. We will march proudly in our shtetl, and they in their shtetl.