The last thing that S. wants is to discourage others from hosting needy families during emergencies. "I know that some of those who considered taking in a family during the war - but didn't - will hear about what happened to us and feel vindicated, and I don't want that to happen," she said.

S., who took in two families seeking refuge from the north of Israel while Katyusha rockets rained down in July and August, was reluctant to go into detail about what was stolen from her Modi'in home by one of her guests.

"I don't want to put people off. I think we did a really good thing. I know there were those who thought we were insane [for taking strangers into our home], but it reflects an idealistic view of 'Am Yisrael' [the People of Israel]: Kol Yisrael arevim zeh la'zeh," said S., an immigrant from the United States, referring to the old saying that all Jews are responsible for one another. "I think it's really important that we have that kind of relationship with the rest of the nation."

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Another person who hosted northerners during the 34-day conflict, and who - according to one report - came home to find "half the family's possessions gone" is also not willing to elaborate. "She says she's the one-in-a-million it happened to and she doesn't want her little incident to change anything," explains a friend.

It seems, however, that while the incidence of such thefts is impossible to gage, the number of hosts who felt their hospitality was abused was not negligible. But few are willing to go on the record, perhaps reluctant to highlight one of the cracks in the much-trumpeted home-front effort, which many Israelis regard as the silver lining of the war.

"I spent the first week of the war in Croatia and I came back really wanting to do something to help," says Irish-born Tel Aviv resident Estella, who prefers not to disclose her full name. She advertised her willingness to host two or three northern refugees through the web site Crisis in Israel, which was created specifically to link up those offering help during the war with those in need of it.

"It was their extravagance that really annoyed me," she says, recalling the fortnight when a woman from Haifa with her two teenagers and the family dog took refuge in Estella's four-room apartment. "They came with no money, but they insisted on eating meat twice a day and washing all their sheets every day. I spent NIS 1,500 on food and taking them out.

"After two weeks, I was at my wits' end. I tried to get help from various municipalities, but I couldn't. I didn't expect I'd have to pay for everything. Plus they broke my TV and tore my hammock. Of course when you hear of people getting killed, you remember these are just the little things, but at the time, it was very stressful."

'Wild and violent'

Other stories that reached Anglo File include a Jerusalem-based family that was furious when their guests from the north did not contribute at all to the running of the house, but instead spent the vouchers they received to cover food expenses on sweets and junk food.

Another host told Anglo File her guests were frequently "wild and violent" toward each other, behavior which, to her distress, was witnessed by her children. "It seems many of those seeking refuge with families they didn't know were from the most disadvantaged sectors of society," commented one woman, who described her experience of hosting a very low-income family from Tiberias as a "real eye-opener."

Staff and volunteers at nonprofit agencies involved in placing fleeing families in private homes during the war emphasize that those who felt their hospitality was exploited were very much in the minority. (Hard data is not available, as the police did not compile separate statistics on such incidents, said Israel Police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld.)

Mainly positive

"The outpouring of hospitality was huge and, for most, hosting was a very positive experience," says Josie Arbel of the Association of Americans and Canadians in Israel, which helped to match English-speaking refugees from the north with host families during the war.

But she acknowledged: "We know of a few cases of people who used the opportunity of the war to leave [their homes permanently] and move to Jerusalem, which left the host families with a feeling of being abused. [The hosts] believed they were being kind and helpful and offering temporary shelter, while the guests had something altogether different in mind."

Volunteers with the One Family Fund nonprofit organization - which expanded on its usual work with terror victims to assist in the war effort on the home front - were initially reluctant to help match families after hearing of various "incidents," including thefts from host families, reports Nadia Levene, who spent three weeks volunteering for the organization's emergency hotline during the war.

The change of policy came about, she reports, partly because of the number of families keen to provide refuge for those under attack and partly because of the desperate needs of many northerners who were far from comfortable before the war and were "hungry and climbing the walls" after two weeks in bomb shelters.

Liaura Zacharie, a Jerusalem real estate agent who helped find accommodation for some 100 families from the north - approximately half in private homes and half in empty holiday apartments owned by her contacts abroad - took preventive steps against theft and abuse of hospitality by getting guests to sign a contract and hand over a check for $1,000 before they entered their guest accommodation [see box].

But few families that opened their homes took similar steps, and several thousand families hosted strangers without any guarantees whatsoever, according to estimates from those involved.

"What could we do to prevent [theft]? What are we, the police?" asked Rikva Shraga of the Jerusalem Association of Community Councils and Centers, which helped to coordinate matching up some 1,000 northerners with host families on behalf of the city's municipality. "What did you want us to do - sit in the house and watch over them and tell them not to steal? We didn't even think in this way and I didn't hear of a single complaint; we only got thanks. The whole thing sounds invented to me."

Whether it was risky or not, Australian-born Loretta Belik of Ra'anana, who hosted two sets of guests during the war, said that for her family and many of her neighbors who opened their homes to northerners, the experience could only be described as "wonderful" and "enriching."

Strong friendships were built, she said, which have resulted in several visits up north since the war ended, guests returning to Ra'anana to attend bat mitzvah celebrations of their former hosts, the breaking down of cultural and religious divides and the feeling of having gained "a new extended family."

Even S., who likened the theft of items from her home to the "Israeli attitude of helping yourself to towels in hotels," did not regret taking people in. "My daughter told me that [after their guests' stay] she now realizes how lucky we are. It really opened my children's eyes to the huge gap in wealth that exists in Israel and has given them a sense of perspective about where they are in society and how blessed we are," she said.