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Family affairs / The Zitronblatts
By Avner Avrahami nad Reli Avrahami
Tags: Family affairs

Karkur

The cast: Shahar (41), Avital (40), Shira (14), Noya (10.5), Hagar (9) and Sagi (4).

The home: It is detached, on one floor, 170 square meters on half a dunam (an eighth of an acre) of land, with a flat roof, a well-tended yard, sliding iron gate (for the Mazda), flower pots in bloom by the front door. In the front is grass and garden furniture; elsewhere there is reddish turf and a drip-irrigation system that waters pomegranate and almond, lychee and papaya, banana and guava trees. The home was purchased three years ago (for $240,000 - "We have a small mortgage"). They formerly lived in Mevasseret Yerushalayim, a Jerusalem suburb.
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Right: The tidy master bedroom contains a workout machine and an en-suite bathroom. The security room is Sagi's bedroom, with a youth bed and letters that can be pasted up to create first words. The girls' rooms are opposite.

The girls' rooms: A female guitarist in blue is painted on Shira's wall ("We brought a painter in from Kfar Sava as a bat mitzvah present"). Noya and Hagar room together, but their room is still empty ("problems with the carpenter") and they sleep on mattresses. Back to the living room. The scent of chicken soup wafts from the kitchen; warm cinnamon cookies are placed on the table.

Livelihoods and occupations: For the past two years Shahar has been vice president for development at SAP Israel (a huge German software company); he previously worked for Amdocs. He's in charge of 60 developers, is an expert in software for large organizations, and holds undergraduate degrees in computer sciences and archaeology (Hebrew University of Jerusalem), plus an MBA from Bar-Ilan University.

Archaeology: "I gave it up, but that's where my emotional life lies." Works a five-day week (in Ra'anana) from 9 A.M. to between 7 and 8 P.M. He commutes in a Mazda 5 (company leasing), 45 minutes each way, to work on the Trans-Israel and homeward on Highway 4 ("trial and error"), and loves his job. Has cut back on his forays abroad (Germany and China) due to the economic situation (worldwide). Aspires to own a mobile falafel stand.

Avital: Teaches mathematics in the Democratic School in Rishon Letzion, grades two to five, also does "remedial teaching." The mathematics "dosage" at the school is lower than in regular schools, she notes, and the teaching method is more experiential ("There are chocolate tables and pizzas for learning fractions"). She teaches three days a week and spends two more studying naturopathy at the College of Holistic Medicine in Karkur; she's considering a career change. As an archaeologist (until age 30), she took part in digs in the Jewish Quarter of the Old City of Jerusalem, and published articles on Herodian pottery. She commutes in a Mazda 3, is in charge of picking up Sagi from the kindergarten and is raising the children without grandmothers ("We are like an ultra-Orthodox family: The big ones help the little ones").

Shira: Is in eighth grade at the Pardes Hannah Agricultural School; gets there with Mom, walks home; also plays guitar and soccer.

Soccer: Shira plays with Maccabi Hadera Talents, undergoing two practice sessions a week, with games on Wednesday evenings; she scored a goal last year. She acquired her love for the game in the United States where, she says, women's soccer is very developed. She's a fan of the Milan team, her parents are her fans. Shahar: "I am very pleased with her choice."

Noya: Is a fifth-grader at Karkur's state-education school, walks back and forth, takes judo lessons (orange belt) and sings in the Karkur choir ("the one that performs in public").

Hagar: Is in third grade at the Karkur school and was accepted to a Technion-run outstanding students program in Givat Olga; she hopes to be a scientist and a model.

Sagi: Attends Mango nursery school in Karkur, which costs NIS 2,200 a month ("with lunch"); is dropped off by Dad, picked up by Mom and likes his teacher very much.

Shahar's bio: Born in Jerusalem in 1968 to a secular family, he is the eldest of four ("all boys"). His father, originally from Haifa, is deputy director of the Geological Institute in Jerusalem; his mother, born in the Haifa suburb of Kiryat Motzkin, is a former teacher (literature and Bible), now retired. He is the grandson of Polish emigrants who settled in Palestine in the 1930s. He attended "Leyada" (Hebrew University Secondary School), did army service in intelligence (1987-1990), spent a lot of time in Lebanon, backpacked for three months in Kenya and Zaire, studied archaeology and computers, worked for Amdocs and was sent to the United States on its behalf.

United States: They went in 1998 ("We had a good time and we had kids") and returned here in 2003 ("We didn't really feel at home"). Shahar then moved to SAP ("I needed a change") and Avital to teaching.

Avital: Born in Petah Tikva in 1969, to a secular family with two older brothers; her mother was born in Ra'anana (to one of the city's founding families), her father in Poland ("He arrived in 1933 with the first stone thrown in Lodz"). He is a pensioner of the Union of Clerical, Administrative and Public Service Employees. After high school, she served as a wireless operator in the navy ("Our group was the last to use Morse code"). She did not go to India ("I didn't have the nerve"), working instead in a nursing home where she saw old age up close and felt she was exposed to things she should not have seen at her age. She moved to Jerusalem in 1990, registered for studies in archaeology and met Shahar.

The meeting: He was a prehistory student; she preferred the classical period. During first year they had some classes in common, and against the backdrop of the Gulf War, equipped with a gas mask, he found in her room (in the dorms) orderly notebooks, detailed summaries and everything a person might need in order to stick around. They later took a place together in the city's Kiryat Hayovel neighborhood, saw Meir Ariel perform in Pargod (a now-defunct club), drank beer at Glasnost (a now-defunct pub in the Russian Compound), went to movies at Smadar (a still-extant movie theater in the German Colony) and were married.

The wedding: In 1993 at Kibbutz Ma'aleh Hahamisha, with 100 guests (his version), 200 (hers). They both agree that they received five fondue sets from Kakadu, a Jerusalem-based wood products company, and also on what the wedding song was (David Broza's "We Have Come Here"). He then started work at Amdocs, she at the Israel Antiquities Authority. Before they left for America she studied remedial teaching at David Yellin College of Education in Jerusalem.

Daily routine: Avital gets up at 6:15 A.M. and immediately gets lunch ready. When everything is done (including sandwiches for school), she has a glass of herbal tea (no sugar) and leaves. Shahar gets up at 6:50 ("hopefully"), dresses Sagi ("who has been up since 6") and takes him to nursery school. Hagar and Noya get up between 6:30 and 7; Shira "according to the school schedule." All the girls have a chocolate drink, eat cereal and head out: Noya at 7:15, Hagar at 7:30 and Shira, whenever.

Going out: They recently saw a Cameri Theater production ("Was It Ever?" - about the poet Alexander Penn).

Household chores: Mainly done by Avital. She buys, she washes, she gardens. Shahar "is supportive," helping with the dishes. The girls are responsible for their rooms.

Dreams: "To have a business in the field of healthful food" (Avital); "to go to Costa Rica and sell falafel" (Shahar); "to play in the Spanish or Italian league" (Shira); "to get an Olympic medal in judo" (Noya); "to write a children's book" (Hagar); "for Hagar to be a princess" (Sagi).

Quarrels: There are occasional silences ("It can take two days, three, even a week"). Avital: "I am the one who does the making up"; Shahar: "Well, more or less."

God: Shahar says he is secular; Avital thinks tradition is important and says she has an inner God ("In the past few years I feel he exists").

Water discipline: 29 cubic meters a month.

Happiness quotient (scale of 1-10): Avital and Hagar - 9; Shahar, Shira and Noya - 8; Sagi - "a lot."
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