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Death of a brother
By Benny Ziffer
Tags: Mozart, Uri Geller 

Mozart was not Jewish - that's been said before. But the fact that Michael Jackson wasn't Jewish either is too mortal a blow to our national prestige. Nu, all right, he was almost Jewish. His best friend - fortunately for us, the singer is no longer around to deny it - was Uri Geller, who was interviewed this week on all possible Israeli media outlets as constituting the "Jewish-Israeli connection" with the highly praised deceased. So let's convert Jackson to Judaism, too. How do you do that? You castrate. How is that done? First, you make a face, as if to say, "Why are they making such a big deal out of him? Really. He was only a dancer with a mediocre voice" (an approximate quote from the Shulhan Arukh of our own Rabbi Yaron London on Monday, on his nightly interview program).

For the cutting ceremony, in the studio of Rabbi London and his cynical sidekick, Mottel Kirschenbaum, we gather three "experts" on Michael Jackson. One is a psychiatrist, because as we know Jackson was first of all a nutcase. One is an impresario, an Israeli, who was in charge of producing Jackson's performances here. In other words, Jackson may have been a bit of a Zionist. Or at least he didn't boycott Israel, and nowadays even that is something. The impresario said Jackson was really decent and a consummate professional, too - in short, a mensch. And the third expert: Gilad Padva, owner of a wide and forgiving smile, a local expert in the construction of masculinity and deconstruction of feminity and camp, who actually said nothing that explained anything about the art of our brother Michael.

Mozart, had he fallen into our hands alive, would have endured the same humiliating treatment. Because there is nothing less acceptable to the spirit of old-fashioned Israeliness than innocence. There is no such thing as a naive person; there can be only a bad person who hides his intentions beneath a cloak of naivete. And what can you do: Music is the art of absolute naivete. Music cannot be cynical or ironic, nor can it have self-awareness or a critical nature. And there is nothing that insults a musician more than being called "intelligent."
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Mozart was anything but intelligent. In effect, he was infantile and a semi-retard. Without musicians' innate infantility, could Michael Jackson have created his divine stage fantasies? And would Mozart have been capable of writing operas? Paradoxically, such geniuses cannot possibly have a Jewish "head," in the sense of being cunning.

I watched the news of Michael Jackson's death live on CNN late at night, while I was abroad. I saw genuine shock and sorrow there at the death of a man who played a significant role in the lives of many. I myself never have understood anything about pop music in general or about that of Michael Jackson in particular, but it was clear to me that he enlisted his talents, as well as his physical being, in the fight against petit bourgeois self-satisfaction, the stereotypes it nurtures and the definitions with which it defines everything for its convenience.

In any case, he was not a war criminal who deserves contempt after his death as in his lifetime. Therefore, when they began there, on the American and foreign channels, to delve into issues of inheritance and family gossip and theories as to the causes of death - they did not forget for a moment that this was a person whose memory is deserving of respect.

Upon my return to Israel I became aware of the differences in style. For example, that of Haim Etgar, Channel 10's energetic cultural commentator. Just give him an opportunity to drag someone through the mud, and he grabs that someone by the hair and plunges him in up to his ears. And everything with the same wise-guy sardonic attitude and sly smile that has become pro forma in local news reporting, as if to say: "You thought you knew all the dirt about Michael's life? I've got news for you. You know nothing compared to the truth that I'll reveal to you now." Or, as if to say: "Ha, ha! His stupid fans are placing wreaths and letters in front of the gate to his home. Just wait until you know the whole truth about him."

As we know, the 11th commandment received by the Jewish people on Mt. Sinai was: "Don't be a sucker." And, as opposed to the other commandments, which they sometimes obey and sometimes don't, Jews love this prohibition with all their heart, with all their soul and with all their might. To mourn for no reason a deceased non-Jewish artist is the epitome of sucker-hood. Trying to scrape from this death a crumb of national pride through an across-the-board demonstration of contempt for someone whom the whole world admires - now that is abiding by a biblical commandment.
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  1.   Jackson`s Voice 04:04  |  Haaretz Fan 03/07/09
  2.   Benny seems like someone who was not hugged enough as a child 05:27  |  bob 03/07/09
  3.   Mozart 11:28  |  Marian 03/07/09
  4.   Debbie Rowe 13:48  |  Motic 03/07/09
  5.   MJ 14:28  |  Rolly 03/07/09
  6.   Jackson a Jew? NOT 16:35  |  Mike 03/07/09
  7.   Isarael has no "prestige..." 05:02  |  BBSNews 04/07/09
  8.   Cunning = what ? 07:00  |  Bing 04/07/09
  9.   #7, Israel is the only free country in the ME 07:58  |  Andrew 04/07/09
  10.   Michael Jackson 09:05  |  Gordy 04/07/09
  11.   hilarious, but let African Americans take pride in their own! 10:50  |  michelle 04/07/09
  12.   Death of a brother 13:45  |  Nina 04/07/09
  13.   BBS News really? Israel beat your side over and over. 15:02  |  petra 04/07/09
  14.   article 16:17  |  lili 04/07/09
  15.   Michael Converted To Islam Several Years Ago 05:50  |  Laguna Geno 05/07/09
  16.   Before converting him to Judaism... 08:10  |  Bob 12/07/09
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