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Last update - 13:14 22/01/2009 A marked man By Sayed Kashua Tags: Sayed Kashua, israel news I am not sure what is allowed to be written in the week in which the fighting ends. I don't know how much freedom I have to express my feelings in writing. Can I be amusing, or is the wound of Gaza still too fresh? Am I allowed to express revulsion at the cheers of victory sounded by our soldiers as they returned to their base? Can I write that I saw their hands covered with blood as they waved their flags? I want to run away. To load my stuff into the car, rev it up and start driving. Where to doesn't really matter. As long as it's far away. The main thing is not to be here. I can't live in this polluted place, where everyone is certain he is right. Call me a pathetic coward, call me a traitor, a chicken. Call me all the names you can think of. Amen, I hope you feel better. I am sick and tired of obeying your rules, Jews and Arabs alike. Say what you want, but when it comes to writing I refuse to be a coward. That's how it is, you always need luck in life - one is rich, the other miserable. Or, if you want, one is a murderer, the other an imbecile. I've had it up to here with all of you. I can't stand you anymore. A gang of debased, stupid, racist murderers, misanthropes. Advertisement This concludes the preface, whose goal, dear readers, was to let you know what I think of all the others except you. I hope that this concludes my remarks in condemnation of the offensive in Gaza. Now I will tell you things that I could not share with you, because it's not fitting to make a personal disclosure in time of war. Well, I was certain that I was writing against the war from the first day. I was convinced that never had I been as brave and as blunt as in the past three weeks. So much so that I made a point of waking up my little daughter early on Friday morning and together we waited for the Haaretz deliveryman, who always gets here a few minutes after six. I showed the child what the magazine looked like and asked her to make the rounds of the building and wherever she saw a paper next to a door to remove the magazine, in which my column appears. This would spare the tenants aggravation and not stir their anger against the new neighbor. After all, mistakes like this, in which part of the paper is missing, happen often enough, and I am sure that there is no society of Haaretz readers in the building whose members will exchange angry information about the absence of the magazine and make them wonder whether it was deliberate. But, in war as in war: The surprise came from an unexpected quarter. The first phone call I got that Friday was exceedingly unexpected. I heard the familiar voice of my Arabic teacher from junior high in Tira exactly 20 years ago. "I called just to make sure it isn't true," the Arabic teacher said, and I, not being prepared for a pop quiz, stammered that I didn't know what he meant and asked if I could retake the exam. Peculiar and unexpected phone calls continued to arrive from relatives I hadn't spoken to in years, until finally I decided to call my parents and find out what the big fuss in Tira was all about. "It's nonsense," my father said, as usual trying to fudge the evidence, but after a brief grilling it turned out that someone had circulated a leaflet in my home town, headlined "Zionist Dog from Tira." It accused me of collaborating with the Zionist enemy, branded me the worst of the Zionist pigs, intimated that violence was in order and urged my respected family members to spew me out of their midst. The leaflet, which was signed by the unknown group "Village Free," had followed a sermon delivered by an imam in a Tira mosque, in which I was officially declared to have left Islam and the Arab nation. I have to say that, more than fear, anger, rage and concern at the results of the reading comprehension test in Tira, my first reaction was actually one of joy. Because as I understood it, many people, in fact a majority of the residents of Tira, were engaged with my writing in Haaretz, and as one who is nourished by the press and hears about cuts in the salaries of the paper's staff, I hoped that the paper's redemption would come from tens of thousands of Arabs and above all from the residents of Tira, who had begun reading the paper in masses. But my happiness was quickly extinguished when it turned out that hundreds of copies of the column had been printed and distributed by anonymous donors in the village streets and mosques. "Okay," I told my wife that Friday, "we aren't going to Tira for the weekend." "Why not?" she asked. "I didn't cook anything; I thought we would eat there." "Yes," I replied in desperation, "I know, but I am a marked man there." "At last," my wife said, and added, "So buy a kilo of ground meat before you pick the kids up from school. There is nothing to cook." Al Jazeera was hanging in a corner of the butcher shop and broadcasting declarations by a leader of the Hamas military wing. A few clients stared at the screen, and when the Hamas leader talked about the victory of the Resistance a kind of dull roar of laughter slipped out of the corner of my mouth and made me the object of the gaze of everyone in the butcher shop. "What was that?" one of them asked. "No," I replied. "Nothing, I was laughing because he said Hamas won." "What do you mean, you were laughing?" someone else asked. "What's so funny about that?" "No, nothing. I mean. Of course ... of course ... we won ... I just want a kilo of ground meat, please." On the way from the butcher shop to the children's school I already started wondering about my place here. Questions like: What will become of me? What am I? Who am I? How do others see me? Where exactly did I go wrong? And why? The ringing of the bell released the children from the mixed school. I found consolation in hugging my children and holding them close. I walked with them from the school entrance to the parking lot and my daughter told me about a letter the class had written to the prime minister and the defense minister asking them to stop the killing of children in Gaza. I was happy and hugged her. I turned to strap her little brother into the seat and she said she would put the schoolbag in the trunk so she would have more room in the back seat. A Jeep driven by a resident of the neighborhood in which the school is located suddenly pulled up next to my car. A woman with sunglasses and chewing gum opened the window next to her with the push of a button. My daughter and I looked at her as she snarled at us, "May your name be obliterated," and threw a bottle of water that struck my daughter in the face. Bookmark to del.icio.us   Detaining rights Rights groups: IDF subjected Gaza detainees to deplorable conditions. Putin vs. Barak Did Barak quote Putin or did Putin quote Barak with the "on the toilet" statement?   1.   Sayed Kashua 11:58  |  G. Cohen 23/01/09   2.   Fight the good fight Sayed 22:36  |  Doshka 23/01/09   3.   Sayed 00:02  |  Felix 24/01/09   4.   keep on keeping on 02:10  |  rg 24/01/09   5.   You must be doing something right, Sayed 03:09  |  Aphemia 24/01/09   6.   Keep writing, Sayed 04:09  |  Zvi 24/01/09   7.   I m sorry 4 u and specially 4 your family 05:49  |  Alberto Cohen 24/01/09   8.   would love to meet you 08:24  |  Richard Johnson 24/01/09   9.   Sayed 11:52  |  BenCiro 24/01/09   10.   A uniquely sane voice 11:52  |  Lemez 24/01/09   11.   Explaining "Satire" to the folks in Tira 13:17  |  David 24/01/09   12.   Sayed 23:41  |  Toni Whiteman 28/01/09

Read & React For first time, U.S. professors call for academic and cultural boycott of Israel Responses: 100 'Massive Hezbollah attack against Israeli target thwarted in Europe' Responses: 48 Intel sources: Gazan informants intercepted by Hamas during war Responses: 45 IAF commander: Bombing of tunnels not a solution to Gaza arms smuggling Responses: 33 Venezuela: We're honored Israel expelled our diplomats Responses: 34 More Headlines 13:20 IDF wounds Gaza militant behind deadly attack on soldiers 11:48 Hamas: We will accept long-term truce if Gaza borders opened 11:23 Report: Obama aides drafting letter to Tehran aimed at thawing U.S.-Iran ties 09:48 Intel sources: Gazan informants intercepted by Hamas during war 13:57 Netanyahu: Iran nuclear crisis more important than financial meltdown 08:53 Olmert, Barak and Livni tell Mitchell: We will respond to every Hamas violation of truce 08:45 For first time, U.S. professors call for academic and cultural boycott of Israel 13:57 Police to question Olmert for 13th time in corruption probe 14:12 Iranian prostitutes and half-naked men: Saatchi promotes Mideast art 08:41 IAF commander: Bombing of tunnels not a solution to Gaza arms smuggling 12:34 UN launches emergency appeal for $613 million in aid for Gaza victims 11:36 'Massive Hezbollah attack against Israeli target thwarted in Europe' 10:19 Haaretz-Dialog poll: Extreme right party overtakes Labor in elections forecast 13:23 Settlers not thrilled with Obama's Mideast envoy 01:47 Basketball / Maccabi Tel Aviv Euroleague opponent is not in its league 13:02 Israeli tennis player Andy Ram advances to Australian Open finals 09:15 Venezuela: We're honored Israel expelled our diplomats Previous Editions Select Day 28 jan 27 jan 26 jan 25 jan 23 jan 22 jan 21 jan 20 jan 19 jan 18 jan 16 jan 15 jan

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