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Pupils at JCDS, Boston's Jewish Community Day School. (courtesy of JCDS)
Last update - 13:31 11/08/2008
This hyphenated life, post three / It costs, but it's worth it
By Marco Greenberg
Tags: Jewish World 

"It's hard to be a Jew," as the old Yiddish expression says.

Allow me to make the following update: "it's friggin' expensive, too."

No, I'm not referring to the associated costs of attending those obnoxious three-day out-of-town weddings, buying the perfect gift for the bar/bat mitzvah who already has everything, or eating at the local, overpriced, kosher restaurant while kvetching about soaring gas prices and depreciating home values. Instead, I want to talk about an expense that makes all the above seem like 'kesef katan' (small change) - sending your kids to Jewish Day School.
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I am a part of a growing movement of Jewish American parents sending their kids to Jewish Day Schools, a student body now estimated at 205,000 strong, double the number in Day School 25 years ago. If you too are part of this expanding group, then with school starting in only a few weeks, and especially in a lousy economy, you're bound to think/obsess/worry about tuition payments. Seeing that big number, in some cases $28,000/year for a second grader, higher than the median per-capita income in many American towns, can make even the biggest Jewish Day School advocate think twice. Is it really worth it?

As a parent who's gone from Jewish Day School, to 'progressive' private school, and now back to Jewish Day School, telling a fellow parent where to send their kids to school is more chutzpah-like than telling them what kind of food they should be feeding them or how many hours of sleep they should be getting. All I can do is share what I've learned in our back and forth journey and provide a not-so-gentle nudge from someone who, get this, never attended a day of Jewish Day School himself. (It would not have been 'cool' in my day, but in an era when it's increasingly 'cool to be a Jew' it is a different world out there.)

While we met some wonderful teachers and parents at a school with very German and non-Jewish roots, Rudolph Steiner, there is a depth of warmth, love, and caring, combined with sechel, intelligence and dedication at the Jewish schools that you are not likely to find anywhere else. As my wife likes to say, when everyone is a Jewish mother, and your kid needs to go to a nurse, the whole school knows about it and asks how he/she is doing.

Rather than preach to the choir of the hard-core (the Orthodox are way out in front of other streams of Judaism, although my preference is more pluralistic), I write this post of This Hyphenated Life for my fellow Jewish parents who are either considering pulling their kids out of Jewish Day school due to economic pressures, lack of sufficient financial aid etc., but more so to those who haven't even given it a try.

You may well have the financial resources, and feel that Sunday school (talk about a need for rebranding, what kid wants to go to school on Sunday?) and Hebrew school is 'enough' and that the local public or private school is terrific, and that full time Jewish Day School is:

a. Too Jewish
b. Too Expensive
c. Not Diverse Enough

One of my professional peeves in grappling with the above, in the limited voluntary and professional work I've done with Jewish Day Schools, is that schools either 'market in a vacuum' trying to reinvent the wheel as if the issues they face are totally unique (i.e. the chicken and egg of not enough kids and not enough budget) and/or revert to tired clichés that are so common they don't get anyone's attention: i.e. 'small,' 'nurturing,' best in 'secular and religious' ? words that should be immediately deleted from their respective Web sites.
So, what to do?

If I were appointed 'Chief Marketing Officer of Jewish Day Schools of North America' for a day, I'd spend the morning identifying which schools are doing it - meaning: recruiting, marketing, fund raising, new media, PR etc. - right and learn from them. Then, in the afternoon, I'd take it a step further and gather the most creative and informed minds (students, parents, teachers etc.) and immediately dream up online and offline strategies and associated campaigns, from viral video to street events, to give schools the tools to market themselves, all in an attempt to raise the profile of the entire 'category' of Jewish Day Schools.
In the meantime, here is a collection of my own one-liners to convince the fence-sitters to come on board:

Mind Blowing: "Meet ten year olds who read, understand, and discuss the weekly portion in its original Hebrew - it's like walking into a law school seminar and the ultimate brain expanding exercises for your kids - whether you're religious or haven't been to synagogue in years."

Smart Ass Kids: "Want to give your child a shot to go to Harvard? Expose them to the kind of academic excellence that produced the annual winner of the Connecticut State Science Fair ."

The First Religion Designed for Children: "Dressing up for Purim, baking challa bread, staying up all night for Shavuot, Israeli dancing, exploring nature on Tu B'Shvat and having bonfires on Lag B'Omer, this 5,000+ year old tradition puts the kids front and center and builds self confidence, poise and perspective in a world of gratuitous txt messaging and facebook profiles."

Be a Mensch: "Accomplished Jewish Day School grads explain (if we can't snag Natalie Portman there are thousands of tech wizards and well known authors to chose from) why day schools give you a much better chance of being a mensche. When Tzedakah and Tikkun Olam are words they use everyday, how can the entire world not be a better place?"

Where Have All the Bullies Gone?: I asked my 7 year-old son, who's already taught me several important tenants of our faith that I never learned when I was his age, or sadly since, what's the difference between the Jewish and non-Jewish schools he's gone to? Without pausing he told me there are no bullies at his Jewish school and no-one throws sand in his eyes.

If the above don't resonate for some, then let's hit the 'obstacles to the sale' head on:

It is 'too Jewish?' A true guru in Jewish education, Dr. Bruce Powell, questions whether you would ever ask, "Is it too math, is it too science?" Dr Powell rightly pokes fun at this ironically common question among Jewish parents.

It is it expensive? Damn right. Is it worth it? You bet. Do the amazing teachers (both Jews and non-Jews) deserve this compensation and much more for the most important gift (education) you can give your most important asset (your kids)? With as many as 50% of the families in the Jewish Day schools that I'm familiar with receiving financial aid, the cost of tuition is a real challenge for both parent and school alike. But there are sources of financial aid out there. And in any case, the majority of Jewish parents in the U.S. would consider private schooling for their kids anyway. It's not like Jewish private schooling is a jump cost-wise over secular private alternatives.

Finally, as Rabbi David Kalb, a scholar and activist, once pointed out to me, if you're looking for real diversity, and to meet kids from different walks of life, range of socio economic backgrounds and half on financial aid, with parents from all over the world from Argentina to Russia, from Israel to South Africa go to your local Jewish Day school, which can be actually be a less homogenous crowd than the local, read well-off, public school in the 'burbs.

Judging by last week's over 300 comments, I know you're an opinionated bunch, so what do you think is the best argument to get more families in the day school door? Are there legitimate reasons for an affiliated family to send a kid to a non-Jewish school, because of geography (a big reason we tried a non-Jewish school), special needs, gifted programs or more extensive extra-curricular activities such as school sports?

If you live in the UK, where I've learned they?re having their own renaissance of Jewish Day Schools (60% of Jewish children now attend and there's an actual shortage of open spaces), chime in. Or will Israel-based readers tell us all to make aliya and get the Jewish education for free or will others lament the often sorry state of Jewish education, among secular kids, in the Jewish state?

While marketing can hardly solve all the challenges facing Jewish Day Schools, I'm a believer that giving the word of mouth a shot in the arm, and the competitive positioning a 'make over,' can make a difference.

There are no 'sure things' and many day school grads end up burnt our or not affiliated as adults. Synagogue, summer camp, Hebrew education, trips to Israel etc. are all great and important (and worked fine for me and I never even got the Jewish camp thrown in) but if you want to try capture all of that every day, and are searching for the most direct route for your children, and grandchildren, to be Jewish, my money is on Jewish Day Schools.

Also by Marco Greenberg on Haaretz.com:
  • This Hyphenated Life, Post One / A Hybrid Jew.
  • This hyphenated life, post two / Jew me down.
  • Battle of the attitude / Israeli girls vs. American Jews.
  • Advice to Ehud Olmert, blogger.

    Marco Greenberg is a communications strategist and co-founder of the new media consultancy Thunder11.

    Also on Haaretz.com:
  • Report: David and Victoria Beckham to send son to L.A. Jewish school.
  • Joint secular-observant Jewish school system approved.
  • Caracas Jews fear planned state curriculum will hurt religious school.

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