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Family Affair / The Porat-Kochavs Tags: rehovot, israel Rehovot W The cast: Ofri Porat (35), Bosmat Kochav (31) and Alma Kochav (1.5). Advertisement W Family agreement: In order to prevent lengthening the family name in future generations, Ofri and Bosmat decided, even before the pregnancy, that the last name of all their future children would be determined according to the sex of the first child ("It's a kind of rule of thumb," Ofri). And because a daughter was born (Alma), she and all the children to follow will bear Bosmat's family name, Kochav. No regrets. W The house: Rented, second floor, no elevator, with a split air conditioner (assisted by a standing fan) and eclectic furniture. They pay NIS 2,400 a month, get 94 square meters with a living room, two bedrooms and a work corner, which is actually a large corridor on the way to an old, greenish kitchen. We meet Shatsky the cat later on. W We enter: On the right is a living room that ends in an enclosed porch, padded with a mattress; on the left are the other rooms, organized in two rows. In one is the workroom-kitchen; in the other, bedrooms and the bathroom. We turn right (to the living room). W The living room: On a reddish carpet dotted with toys are two sofas arranged in an "L," upholstered in light-colored fabric. One they found tossed out into the street in Tel Aviv ("on Reines Street"); the other is an inheritance from the previous tenants. Nearby, a television on a red metal cupboard from IKEA ("locker-style"), a blue upholstered armchair-rocker and an old bookshelf, with "The Brothers Karamazov" standing next to Jane Austen. We turn to the opposite wing (with the rooms and the kitchen). W The opposite wing: The computer in the work corner is standing on a 1960s Oneg desk, and on the wall is a ketubah (marriage contract) that calligraphically confirms the marriage of Ofri and Bosmat. It is a secular document. In Alma's bedroom there is a low bed ("we switched to a youth bed"); in the master bedroom is a double metal bed designed by Yoram, Ofri's father, who is a metalworker and a calligrapher (he did the ketubah, too). We return to the living room, and are treated to "streusel kuchen" (a crumb cake with apricot jam) baked by Bosmat. W The choice of Rehovot: "Practical reasons," says Ofri. "Compared to Gedera (where they used to live), we're close to Tel Aviv." Bosmat: "We are among those 'expelled' from Tel Aviv" (because of the high rents). W Livelihoods and pastimes: Bosmat is a tour guide in Tel Aviv ("for adults only"), works on an irregular schedule, three to five tours a week on average, two hours per tour, which are devoted to various subjects, such as "The Woman at His Side" - a dramatized tour in the wake of the first ladies of Neveh Tzedek ("I play some of the characters") and "A Singing Tour" based on works of the late composer Eli Mohar (along Ben-Gurion Boulevard). She hates microphones ("on principle") and likes an audience that laughs in the right places. And tips, too (NIS 50-NIS 200, it varies"). She gets to work by train or in the family Daihatusu ("a lion"). W The nicest thing in Tel Aviv: "The train station project at the edge of Neveh Tzedek" (the Turkish-era station complex that is being renovated) and the Templers' Wieland House ("amazing floor tiles"). W Ofri: A lawyer, specializes in bankruptcies and dismantling companies, a salaried employee in the Oren-Harel firm on Ahad Ha'am Street in Tel Aviv; works five days a week, nine hours a day, travels back and forth by train and bus No. 16 ("a monthly combination ticket") and likes his work ("usually"). Among other things he handled the legal problems of the Bat-Dor Dance Company and the Camera Obscura photography school. He says that in this field one can represent the debtors or the creditors, or receive an assignment on behalf of the court, which he prefers. He doesn't bring work home ("From the moment I shut the door, I don't remember what I did"). W Exposure to tragedies: "There are people who want to commit suicide because of a debt of NIS 70,000 and there are others who owe millions and are satisfied with life." W Alma: At home (with Grandma Yael, Bosmat's mother), or at the preschool on Mapu Street in Tel Aviv, to which she travels on the mornings when Bosmat is working in Tel Aviv (a special arrangement, NIS 100 a day). W Ofri's bio: Born in 1973 on Kibbutz Kfar Blum, the third of four sons, his father was born on the kibbutz, a son of founders and an artist ("there's a Yoram Porat industry"); his mother was born in the United States, the daughter of parents who came to the kibbutz after the establishment of the state. She works in the kibbutz plant, Galcon (irrigation equipment). Ofri attended elementary school on the kibbutz, didn't really attend high school. W Not really: "I studied for about a year in all." He describes his youth as aimless wandering and as a series of regular meetings with a psychologist; the belated conclusion was "depression." W Depression: He tried to explain to himself why it happened and didn't find an answer. "Everything was actually fine," he says. "Home, friends, the kibbutz. The system did not neglect me." At the age of 19 he came out of it ("I got on my feet"). W Afterward: The Israel Defense Forces didn't draft him, and at the age of 18 he began to work in the cowshed, with 300 milk cows. When he was 24 he went to study (at Tel Hai Academic College), within two years he completed his matriculation ("all A's), returned to the kibbutz ("I ran the store") and went to study law in Tel Aviv ("a score of 725 in the psychometric exam," out of 800). W His parents: "I owe them a great debt because of what I did to them." He says that they were always by his side ("Dad said to 'leave the child alone, he'll be all right'"). W Bosmat's bio: A native of Rehovot, 1977, the middle child between a sister and brother. When she was 6 years old her parents divorced and since then she has had no contact with her father, who left ("I never tried to contact him"). Her mother, Israeli-born, the daughter of German immigrants, is now retired and lives in Tel Aviv. For years she was the cultural coordinator of the Gan Raveh Regional Council. W Without a father: "Today a single-parent home is common," says Bosmat. "Once it wasn't really." She says that she and her siblings were deeply involved in sharing the burden of the household ("Mom said so and we accepted it"). Family togetherness, she says, was and remains very important to them. W Continuation: She went to elementary school in Rehovot, high school was ("the prestigious") De Shalit. Afterward she was drafted to the IDF and served in the Ayalon field school in Tel Aviv ("a wonderful period"). After her discharge she continued to lead tours, studied literature at Tel Aviv University ("I understood that medicine is not for me"), worked for the Society for the Protection of Nature in Israel and for Mapa publishers, and after the birth of Alma returned to lead groups on a self-employed basis. She met Ofri after her studies, through friends. W The meeting: 2003, Layla (a pick-up bar on Tel Aviv's Ben Yehuda Street). Mutual friends (from Kfar Blum) arranged a "chance meeting" and gave her time to "check out the merchandise." He passed the test. Three days later she contacted him and told him "I liked you." He was glad to hear it. Three months later he moved in with her (on Emile Zola Street). On their very first date they decided not to get married. W Not to get married: What would connect them, they said, would be the children. Not a ring, not the ketubah, not the rabbinate, not even a financial arrangement ("when there's no money that's really absurd"). W Nevertheless: They had a party in 2006 at the Hamam in Jaffa, 200 guests ("I didn't give up wearing a white dress," says Bosmat). Ofri showed up in traditional Nigerian dress that was sewn especially for him (in Nigeria), according to measurements he gave someone at the central bus station in Tel Aviv ($400). W Reactions: "Total shock." W Daily routine: Alma gets up first (between 6-7 A.M.), then Ofri (at about 7), then Bosmat (7:30). Ofri makes sandwiches for everyone ("most of the time") and then they leave for the train together ("if it's a Tel Aviv day"). When they arrive at the Hahagana station, Bosmat will take Alma to preschool (hot meal included); she and Ofri will make do with a lunch of sandwiches. At 6 P.M. they sometimes meet at the train and return home together. W Evening: Until 8 P.M. they'll prepare a hot meal (rice, meatballs, quinoa, buckwheat). Alma goes to sleep at about 8:30. If Bosmat is not giving a nighttime tour, she watches television ("Gilmore Girls") or reads a book ("I enjoyed 'The Rosendorf Quartet' by Nathan Shaham"). She is also active in a pregnancy-birth forum on the Tapuz Web site. She says that they have formed an Internet women's commune (six women) who have already gone on a real weekend in Zichron Yaakov ("without the husbands or children"). Ofri will flip among the sports channels to find American football. Recently he enjoyed reading Hemingway (in English). By 11 P.M. they go to sleep ("our eyes droop"). W Household chores: There is no cleaning woman ("We're dying to have one"). Ofri says that he cleans. "Let's be honest," says Bosmat, "cleaning is not us." Ironing they send out: NIS 6 for a shirt, NIS 7 for a pair of pants. The difference in price remains a mystery. W Quarrels: "All the time" (Bosmat). The reconciliations, she says, are initiated by Ofri ("but I'm improving"). W Dreams: "To always continue to be a family" (Bosmat), "and also to learn Chinese" (Ofri). W Romance: "To write a stunning happy birthday wish to Bosmat" (Ofri); "to cut his hair in the nude" (Bosmat). W Worries: Ofri "Alma and Bosmat"; Bosmat "the situation in the country." She is uneasy and thinks that we should return the territories and award compensation ("to the Palestinians"). W Happiness quotient (scale of 1-10): Ofri 10; Bosmat 9-10. Bookmark to del.icio.us   Party for a killer Arabic TV station hosts birthday party for convicted child killer Samir Kuntar. Hamas to blame Noam Shalit says his son Gilad is holding Gaza hostage, and not the other way around.

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