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Last update - 00:00 05/09/2006
Family affair / The Benek-Koenigsbergers
By Avner and Reli Avrahami
Shoham
The cast: Noam (34), Avivit (36), Sapir (2).
Benek: Acronym for "children of saints, as orphans were called in Russia" (Noam).
Shoham: A pleasant Friday. Along the main street with its landscaped squares, all named for birds, leased cars generate lively traffic. To the right is the shopping center (with Fox and SuperPharm outlets); to the left is the local council building (covered in orange plaster). "Everything is close by," Avivit says, "except for public transportation. You can't get out of here without a private vehicle."
The building: Four stories; they are renting ($700 a month), second floor (110 square meters), with living room, kitchen, bedroom, study and a reinforced security room, which is also Sapir's room. They pay a municipal tax of NIS 1,000 (every two months) and also have a storeroom. They are pleased and don't plan to move. One day they will buy a detached house of their own here.
The home: In the living room there is an orange wall opposite a white wall. Near the latter is a red sofa; adjacent to the former is a television cabinet. It's all temporary, they say. Not long ago they bought two striped beige sofas ("simulated leather integrated with wood"), a living-room table and a sideboard, paying NIS 7,000 for the lot at Bilu Junction. Delivery within three weeks; they're waiting. In the meantime the space is occupied with Sapir's colorful toys (tent, sofa, table, chairs, car). We move further inside. In the study is a computer and Noam's certificate as a rappelling ("snappling") instructor (from the Wingate Institute). In the security room is a crib with mosquito netting and pictures of bears on the walls. No special activity is discernible in the tidy kitchen. "I don't cook," Avivit says frankly. We are served instant coffee and muffins made by the Megadim bakery.
Livelihoods and occupations: Noam is an instructor at a Yavneh company that specializes in training employees of companies that have to do work in high places. He gives courses in "climbing masts" to personnel from mobile telephone companies, the defense establishment, window cleaners, tree trimmers and private electricians ("A course is mandatory for everyone who goes higher than two meters"). As a rule, he says he doesn't climb an antenna before it's turned off ("or I approach from behind the dish"). He uses rappelling rings from France and special shoes that cost $200 a pair. The highest he has even gone is 90 meters ("a security thing"). He reports for work every morning at 6 A.M. and doesn't get home before 6 P.M., traveling in his own Mazda 323.
In addition: On weekends he leads "extreme sports outings" around the country, for small companies and for private individuals ("NIS 180 per person, get to the site yourself, we meet there").
Avivit: She works at home, managing the family excursions business (called Arutzim Bateva), replying to clients, doing marketing and PR, writing price estimates, sending e-mails, keeping the books. She worked as a designer for Soda Club until 14 months ago, when she was laid off in a downsizing move ("I was happy to stay home with Sapir"). She also does work in acrylic for her own pleasure, and her pictures hang on the walls of the couple's home.
Sapir: In a WIZO women's organization day-care center, NIS 1,500 a month. Avivit takes him and collects him (on a bicycle).
Noam's bio: Born in Givatayim in 1972 to native-born Israeli parents who later divorced. His mother works for the Postal Service, his father for the Electricity Corporation. Has a younger sister (29). Did high school at a branch of the ORT vocational schools network (precision mechanics). Because of learning difficulties ("I am very dyslexic"), he preferred hanging around to studying ("I can barely read and write"). In high school he surfed (the Hilton beach) and rappelled (around Ein Gedi at the Dead Sea). He always informed his parents before setting out. "I told my sister, write a note to Mom that I have gone to the Judean Desert." His parents, though worrying, let him do his thing.
Dyslexia: "Say 'learning difficulties.' I went through every possible diagnosis, including special glasses that were invented in England." He did not get a matriculation certificate ("I couldn't"), but says he has good hands ("I got a pretty good mark in mechanics") and a terrific sense of direction ("Dump me anywhere in the world and I will tell you where north is"). He did his army service in the Nahal paramilitary brigade and in that framework worked in the date palm groves of Kibbutz Grofit in the Arava desert. He worked under the watchful eye of the coordinator, Ada Ya'alon, the wife of the former chief of staff ("She was tough, but cordial").
IDF: Noam started off with a military profile of 31, but was persistent and went through a few medical committees until he reached 82 ("The procedures were changed in the wake of my case"). After his discharge he worked as a security guard for the Electricity Corporation, quitting after the terrorist incident in 1995 in which two guards of the company were killed near Tulkarm in the West Bank. He then went to Canada.
Canada: He lived with relatives and was accepted for treatment by a "well-known" former Israeli doctor who treats dyslexics, and found his case interesting ("She gave me a discount"). After a few meetings she advised him to forsake Hebrew and start anew with English. The experiment succeeded. In 2002 he returned to Israel, able to read and write English ("slowly"), and with an undergraduate degree (in tourism) from Seneca College and the University of Toronto. Nowadays he also reads Hebrew, though he has a hard time writing ("I have no handwriting").
Avivit's bio: Koenigsberger ("We're the only ones"), born 1970, Ramat Gan. He parents are children of refugees who fled to Poland from Russia in the war. Her father is the principal of Ohel Shem High School in Ramat Gan; her mother is a microbiologist at Beilinson Hospital. Avivit attended the high school her father works in ("He was vice principal then"); she heard secrets from the teachers' room, but got no special treatment ("Dad hated protektsia [cronyism]"). She did her army service in an antiaircraft unit, in charge of the graphics department ("We wrote certificates in calligraphy"). Afterward she worked as a graphic designer in a few ad agencies and at Soda Club, while obtaining an undergraduate degree (in management) from the Open University and an MBA from Tel Aviv University (Noam: "Cum laude!"). Around this time she also got married ("to someone from the army") and divorced him after two years.
The meeting: Summer 2001. He was a student in Canada who was in Israel on vacation, she was a designer at Soda Club, ready for a relationship. It happened on a joint outing in the desert, south of Masada, which was organized by her brother-in-law, who was a friend of Noam's ("He was rappelling-oriented, too"). They sat side by side on the way to the desert and back, she was turned on, he didn't really notice ("I am blind to those things"). The next day they went to a bonfire on Herzliya beach and continued seeing each other for two months. He returned to Canada, she came for a visit, he bought her a necklace, she got a divorce, and in July 2002 he proposed.
The proposal: Golan Heights, the Black Canyon, an outing organized by the Avshalom Institute. After getting everyone down he remained alone with her on the cliff (32 meters), took out a ring ("affixed with a cord to a box that could float"), got down on his left knee and asked for her hand.
The wedding: None. Avivit: "We have now decided to get married in Shoham in some synagogue."
Sapir: Born in 2004 at the start of the eighth month. Avivit, who gave birth surprisingly without an epidural, suffered ("It was an absolutely indescribable pain, but when it was over, nothing remained"). They had two names - Dolav and Sapir - "in the end we made our decision because of the eyes" (Sapir means "sapphire").
Life with a baby: Avivit breast-fed Sapir for seven months ("He just didn't want it any more"). As an infant he was hypersensitive to physical contact ("He didn't like being caressed") and noise ("There had to be silence"). The situation has since improved.
Daily routine: Noam gets up at 5, washes and dresses, takes a thermos of coffee, a cooler, adds a tuna sandwich (which he prepared for himself) and heads for Yavneh. Avivit gets up between 6 and 7, depending on Sapir, organizes herself, gets him dressed and fed (a bottle of Similac), and bikes him to the nursery school. Both she and Noam usually have sandwiches for lunch, he at the foot of some antenna, she at home next to the computer. She brings Sapir home at 4 and occupies him until the evening. Noam gets back around 6 ("at best") and is able to take part in bathing the baby. There is no formal supper. Noam takes tahini from the refrigerator ("with zhug" - a Yemenite hot sauce); Avivit makes potatoes with yellow cheese for herself. Sapir has an omelet and salad, and sometimes also a meatball left over from Noam's mother's Shabbat delicacies. Sapir is in bed by 8:30 P.M. and falls asleep instantly ("without stories"). At this stage Avivit and Noam go over material related to their work organizing outings. Sometimes they put on the TV and Noam drifts off immediately; Avivit likes "In Treatment" and "Lost."
Education: "We argue about what's permitted and what's forbidden." Noam is for a more open education. They would be happy to send Sapir to the democratic kindergarten in Mevo Modiim, a nearby community, but they can't afford it.
God: Noam doesn't believe; Avivit - "When I had contractions I shouted out to him, but I don't really believe."
Romance: Mitzpeh Mehvar and the cliffs of Dragot Creek in the Judean Desert, the Timna Cliff in the Arava desert.
War: Noam isn't ready to offer an opinion ("It's complex"); he supported the disengagement in 2005.
Recommendation: The only book Noam has ever read in his life is "The Alchemist." It took him almost a year to finish. He wanted to prove to Avivit that he could do it. "I enjoyed it very much."
Happiness quotient (scale of 1-10): Avivit - 8; Noam 9+ ("When we get married, it will be 10").
The place
Shoham - An urban community, 5 kilometers east of Ben-Gurion International Airport, with about 20,000 residents, founded 1993.
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